Ariana Grande missed her bro Frankie so much while he was busy living in a rat-infested dystopian society -- I mean, appearing on "Big Brother." She missed him so much, it seems, that she penned a whole list of things to tell him upon his return to the outside world.

See, we told you! A whole list! Of ridiculous and funny things! All for Frankie! We were curious as to what Ari had to tell her sib, so we went rifling through her cupcake-scented diary and dug up the goods. Check 'em out below...

(Note: This is a joke. These are not Ari's real secrets. Or maybe they are. We really cannot say.)

Artwork by Julia Panek