Delete Your Account: The Ballad Of Finn Jones

Plus: Deadmau5 and ... McDonald's

Delete Your Account is a weekly column that takes the hot air out of celebrities, the media, and their social media shenanigans. Every Friday, I will decide whether or not each perpetrator should delete their accounts and never grace the internet again. This week, Finn Jones doesn't want any hateration or holleration, Dead Mow Five is at it again, and god bless McDonald's.

I heard that aspiring President Trump had something to say about President Obama wiretapping him or some sort of nonsense. I am still not participating in anything this fuzzy piece of fruit from a Roald Dahl novel has to say, but when it comes to the subject of President Barack Hussein Obama II ...




Wow, remember when Finn Jones was just the cute gay in Game of Thrones? How times have changed for this sweet pioneer of the natural hair movement now that he's been cast as Danny Rand in Netflix's Iron Fist. Iron Fist is a Marvel character steeped in white saviorism, which was cute in the ’70s, I guess, but in the Year of Our Lord 2017 and the Great Flop of The Great Wall, people have started to think, Gee, maybe we should let Asian people be at the center of their own stories. This was the complaint lobbied at Netflix for casting a white lead as Iron Fist instead of breaking the mold, as Marvel's comics have done recently with characters like Kamala Khan, a female Thor, queer Latina hero America Chavez, and Miles Morales, who's leading his own Spider-Man series. Unfortunately for Jones, this anger led to him being dragged on Twitter. Well, "dragged" is a strong term ...


As you can see, Jones left Twitter after a pretty mild debate and not so much a dragging. Granted, he also vanished from Twitter before the embargo on Iron Fist was lifted and bad reviews flooded the internet. He has since returned to Twitter.

I will say that I think the situation sucks all around. Sure, it sucks that Marvel didn't cast an Asian person as Iron Fist. But it also sucks that at every turn, Jones sees someone wishing that Lewis Tan, his costar, was Iron Fist. I view the Netflix series as an extension of the comics. I don't read every character title in a comic crossover, so if Iron Fist isn't for you, just skip it and I'm sure you'll miss nothing when The Defenders rolls around. Advocate for better roles for Asian-American actors and continue to make your voices heard with online campaigns and just flat-out not seeing the product, like with The Great Wall. As for Jones, this boy from London mostly tweets about hating Donald Trump and police militarization in the U.S., and he took a job so he could pay his rent. I mean, we love Mark Ruffalo and he's a 9/11 truther. We can't win them all! Can't we just let Finn Jones listen to Ed Sheeran in his trailer and feel pseudo woke in peace?

SHOULD FINN JONES DELETE HIS ACCOUNT? Since he already technically deleted his account a week ago, I'm going to be nice and say no. Wow, being nice is hard.




Kanye West's least favorite DJ, Dead Mow Five — or what would have happened to Daft Punk if they never moved out of their parents' basement and also the only helmet available was one of a giant rat — has some fun thoughts he wanted to share with Twitter. Vogueing? What's that? And why would anyone do it competitively? Aren't those black homosexuals and trans people crazy?

I rarely call people idiots because it's rude, but Deadmau5 is an idiot. Who honestly cares if you don't understand vogueing? It's not for you, nor is it for the white teenagers you entice to drink Kool-Aid and wear Nikes. Never mind that the genre of music you made a career out of came from ball culture in the first place. I'm tired of suggesting people watch Paris Is Burning. I'm tired of having to justify black and gay culture to ignorant people, least of all those who professionally cosplay as Fievel from An American Tail.



If Kanye can't even be bothered to learn how to pronounce his name, why should any of us?



In a perfect world, this tweet would roam free with children in nature. It would run for president of the United States in 2020 and it would beat Trump in a landslide. It would bring Pushing Daisies back from cancellation. It would cast Daniel Henney as Iron Fist. But this tweet is not magic. It is a fleeting moment in a probable hack, or perhaps a social media coordinator gone rogue, but it is also undoubtedly the work of someone who wanted to piss off Trump supporters. I'm sure a lot of Trump supporters do eat McDonald's, but a lot of non-Trump supporters eat McDonald's too. Frankly, I doubt that anyone who follows McDonald's on Twitter is a Trump supporter. Its fan base is probably college-aged stoners. But let's not dissect the politics behind this tweet and what it assumes about a certain part of the country. Let's just look at it and go, "You know what? You right, McDonald's. You right!"

Then look at this retraction from McDonald's and feel your heart break a little.

Screen Shot 2017-03-17 at 2.06.35 PM

When you tuck yourself in at night, think of that one brief moment when McDonald's actually succeeded in pissing off Trump enough that someone on his staff had to stop him from angrily tweeting. God bless McDonald's. The company itself might not have tweeted the sentiment, but in this moment, it became "a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, [and] prepared for every good work" (2 Timothy 2:21).



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