If we had to sum up the 2014 NewNowNext Awards in three words, we'd have to go with: man candy parade.
Logo TV's annual celebration of the hottest new talents in entertainment, which aired Dec. 7, had more packages than a UPS warehouse. More junk than a trash heap. More... Like... There were just a lot of naked man bodies, OK?
The night also saw a trio of killer performances by Jessie J, Best New Musician (Female) winner Betty Who and NewNowNext Forever Award honoree Kristin Chenoweth, but, like, priorities! Let's re-live the ceremony's 9 most gloriously naked moments below.
Draw Me Like One Of Your Warblers
Host and "Glee" actor Darren Criss was late to the ceremony, held at Miami Beach's Surfcomber Hotel, because he'd double-booked a PG-13 portrait session in his room.
Betty Who Are Those Swimmers, Though?
Betty Who performed viral smash "Somebody Loves You" and Take Me When You Go track "All Of You" with eight synchronized swimmer backup dancers. I think I finally understand why synchronized swimming is a thing.
Why Is Your Penis On A Dead Girl's Phone?
When ABC's "How To Get Away With Murder" was called among the Best New Television Series nominees, they played the scene in which Viola Davis' character asks her husband, "Why is your penis on a dead girl's phone?" ICONIC.
The PTC Ain't Gonna Like This
While presenting Best New Music Group, Lance Bass of *NSYNC and Neon Trees frontman Tyler Glenn talked about how "there's nothing like a big group of guys giving it everything they've got and doing it together in front of a bunch of strangers." Well, then.
Why Is Your Penis On A Dead Girl's Phone -- Again?
When "RuPaul's Drag Race" winner Bianca Del Rio won Best New Television Personality, Nextie Boy Billy Reilich, a.k.a. Nick the Gardener from "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," stripped down to a tight, red speedo to swim across the pool and personally hand-deliver the award to her himself. Needless to say, we are all Tyler Glenn.
We can't forget about when Billy got out of the pool, either.
And Also This
In case you missed the show Sunday night, catch the 2014 NewNowNext Awards when it re-airs this Friday, Dec. 12, on MTV.