In case you haven't noticed, Jennifer Lawrence's name has made the rare transition from super popular celebrity moniker to straight up improper noun status of the household variety. As a dictionary entry, it'd go something like so:
Jennifer Lawrence (noun) \zh?-n?-'f?r 'lo?r-'rents\
1 : A person or action which is clumsy or silly with an endearing level of so what fool.
2 : A state of:
a : General refusal to sweat the haters' hate but to still secretly care about zeitgeisty items, especially infamous reality TV show personalities.
b : Having zero time or patience for serious, non-fart or pizza-related matters. Ever.
As the third installment to the series which made her a Really Big Freakin' Deal, "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1," gets poised to rake in some serious digital download dough this weekend, it seems Jennifer Lawrence has been reaching dangerous levels of Jennifer Lawrenceness. If she's not careful, she's bound to break a tooth during one of her many spills or rampant trips to Cinnabon. Let's review.
First things first: The Golden Face Plant.
Even the most novice level Jennifer Lawrencer knows about the time J.Law busted her you-know-what on Hollywood's biggest stage. Not only did she trip on her way up to collect her Oscar for "The Silver Linings Playbook," but she resisted the giggle-oh-shucks play-off maneuver and straight up owned that tumble in her acceptance speech. Classic save.
But then ... it happened again.
One year after the Plunge Heard Round The (Movie) World, JL went and did it again. Oops. And this time she didn't even make it inside before she face planted for the whole world to see.
This brought the errant whispers that our Jenny might've faked this fall to Jennifer Lawrence up the red carpet a bit, but we knew the truth all the while: She's just that stinkin' klutzy. Someone give that child a helmet already, geez.
Hold the prize, extra fries please.
For certain people (ahem) out there, Oscar night is sacred and being the night's front runner is the ultimate in Tinseltown prestige. But for Jennifer Lawrence, all it meant was that she was hungry. And seeing big talking french fries instead of human heads on the red carpet. Of course, her deep-seated love affair with food stuffs is more than well documented, so it wasn't too surprising she had yummies on the brain, but still. So much Jennifer Lawrence.
There was also that post-Oscars pressure presser.
Thank goodness the press room had a sense of humor that year because in one night, J.Law managed to accomplish all of the following on camera:
1. Flip off an entire room full of journalists.
2. Admit to taking a shot of booze beforehand.
3. Reference the f-bomb.
4. Lose her s--t over a flirty Jack Nicholson encounter.
Plus, she beat Meryl.
Anyone who didn't catch the "First Wives Club" reference probably thought she was being a Snotty McSnotsnot when she whipped out the "I beat Meryl" reference while accepting her Golden Globe. But in actuality she was being ridiculously cute, and those people really need to go and stream it ASAP.
And called out the Hollywood HBIC.
Name-checking Meryl is one thing. But Jennifer Lawrence went one further in her thanks to producer Harvey Weinstein, saying "Harvey, thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today." 'Cause the girl, she just don't care.
Like, remember when she talked about pooping her pants on national TV?
Oh yeah. She went there.
Homegirl might be a Dior fashion ambassador and an thrice-Oscar-nominated actress, but she's got absolutely no qualms about discussing all forms of bathroom behavior. Even explosive diarrhea. Her own, no less. She called it a fulcer, guys.
She later went on to coin the concept of the "platonic colonic"
You had to be pretty squarely situated in the Jennifer Lawrence camp to understand what happened next. While promoting "Mockingjay's" theatrical release last fall, Jen decided to rehash the subject of her number twos and trademark a phrase about couples' endoscopes for the casual co-stars (in her case, Josh Hutcherson a.k.a. Peeta Snugglepuffs). You seriously can't even make this stuff up.
And, of course, there were the "copious amounts of butt plugs."
For those few who don't consider Jennifer Lawrence to be their pretend BFFs -- we're told such people might exist -- her story about being found out as an inadvertent sex toy enthusiast by the hotel maid might've been a brow raiser. (But of course we f-loved that one.) Another day, another inappropriate body part reference by J.Law.
Plus, Josh Hutcherson's 'rash.'
What are friends for but to check up on your, erm, issues? The real-life Katniss and Peeta have more of a bro-sis-mance than any type of star-crossed lover syndrome, and that shows most when she pulls little stunts like this. We get it.
When she vom-bombed all over the place in front of fancy people.
And may or may not have caught some shade from Miley Cyrus. Now, that's talent.
That time she called her own profession stupid.
In Vanity Fair, she said, "Not to sound rude but [acting] is stupid ... Everybody's like, 'How can you remain with a level head?' And I'm like, 'Why would I ever get cocky? I'm not saving anybody's life. There are doctors who save lives and firemen who run into burning buildings. I'm making movies. It's stupid."
But then she played it off when she in fact did rescue someone.
Like yeah, I just dropped everything to play real-life hero at the park today. NBD. Where's the pizza?
(Note: J.Law also once saved Katherine Heigl's pooch.)
And she's had some awkward doctoral encounters.
"I just went to the doctor today. I got a chest X-ray of my lungs and discovered that my breasts are uneven," she explained on "Jimmy Kimmel Live." "I was standing there with these doctors and they're like looking at my lungs, and it felt like an elephant in the room. And I was like, 'Are my breasts uneven?' And they were just kind of stifled and uncomfortable obviously. And so I kept thinking, 'Well, I'm gonna dig myself out of this hole by bringing it up again.' So he was like, 'Alright, well our radiologist will get back to you about, you know, your lungs.' And I was like, 'And my breasts.' And he was like, 'Well, bye.'"
All we can say is: She. Would.
And she always, always finds a way to take herself down a notch.
In this instance: Not arriving coated in a bath of flames wasn't red carpet ready. Because CGI set the bar a little too high for her.
Or the more likely case: She's always just got to find some way of being self deprecating even if she knows for a fact that she looks gorg.
'Cause Jennifer Lawrence.
Like when she requested no more Golden Globes, please.
On the same night that she made like the Little Mermaid with her white dress and sneaky photo-bombed Taylor Swift just because, J.Law accepted her Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in "American Hustle" by asking them to never give her one ever again. As one does?
And, um, her near brush with archery-style murder.
Running around in faux District 12 really had Jennifer Lawrence in the spirit of gritty survival because she basically whipped out a weapon on some more innocent maintenance workers at her house once.
As she told Vanity Fair, "One time I actually used it for defense. I pulled into my garage and I heard men in my house. And I was like, 'I'm not letting them take my stuff.' I had just gotten back from training, so I had the bow and arrows in the back of my car. I went to my car and I put this quiver on me and I had my bow and I loaded it and I'm walking up the stairs. And I look, and my patio doors were open, and there were guys working right there, and I was like, 'Heyyy, how you doin'?'"
Maybe we should correct the definition as follows:
Jennifer Lawrence (noun) \zh?-n?-'f?r 'lo?r-'rents\
1 : A walking, smiling, beautiful whoops.
What's next? (Also, did we say Jennifer Lawrence?)