Ever feel like some of those action blockbusters we love so much were written by a five year old? Well, according to The Onion, this summer's "Fast Five" was.

The folks over at Today Now! sat down with "Fast Five" screenwriter Chris Morgan, who just happens to be the most adorable five year old you've ever seen (and not really the writer of "Fast Five," if you haven't figured that out yet). We don't want to spoil it for you, but Morgan's thoughts on his female characters, the film's chase scenes and the chance of sequels are pretty freaking hilarious.

There's more news to mull over today. After the jump, find out the chances of "Scream 5" and "6" ever hitting theaters, hear what Rob Kazinsky had to say about leaving "The Hobbit," and when you should be expecting an "American Reunion."

The Biggest Death In "Scream 4" is... "Scream"

According to MovieHole, the likelihood of "Scream 5" or "Scream 6," the planned follow-ups in Kevin Williamson's rebooted "Scream" trilogy, ever hitting a theater near you are close to zero. That's news to make Ghostface cry.

Rob Kazinsky Left "The Hobbit" Because Of His Health

It wasn't completely devastating news, but it was a bit disappointing to hear yesterday that "Eastenders" actor Rob Kazinsky, who was supposed to play the dwarf Fili in "The Hobbit," had departed the long-anticipated movie. On his Twitter, Kazinsky said he left because of "a health issue... all will be well in time, promise." Director Peter Jackson said in a Facebook statement that "Rob has been terrific to work with and his enthusiasm and infectious sense of humour will be missed by all of us. I should say that Rob's departure will not affect ongoing filming of The Hobbit, nor will it impact work done to date, as we had yet to film much of Fili's storyline."

The "Reunion" Date Is Set

Mark your calendars, because your favorite apple pie bangers eaters have announced the date for their upcoming "American Reunion." The comedy will hit theaters on April 6, 2012. We'll bring the beers and the old high school photos.

New "Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" TV Spot

The latest "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" TV spot has finally given up the light, fun tone of the previous trailers released for the flick and embraced the summer blockbuster's action-packed side. Set to some thumping rock music, the teaser definitely has us counting down the days until May 20.

E! News ran a quick segment the other day that showcased the first footage we've seen from Tarsem Singh's upcoming mythological action film "Immortals," and though only a shoddy recording of it exists on YouTube (via /Film), our interest is still piqued. It looks closer to "300" in stylization than "Clash of the Titans," but knowing Singh's track record, the movie will be so much more than that.

And In The Weird News Of The Day...

Don't get too passionately argumentative about "Game of Thrones" with your family because if you do your cousin might throw you into a window and end up in jail like this Florida native. And if you live in Altoona, Pa., congratulations, because you now live in the corporately sponsored Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, Pa.

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