The venn diagram of "Star Wars Rebels" fans and "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" fans probably overlaps much more then you'd expect, considering how different the two shows are. You know, one's about a group of heroes who crack jokes while fighting an unending battle against evil, and the other's... OK, maybe they're pretty like after all. But now they've got one more thing in common: Sarah Michelle Gellar!
On Wednesday night's (Oct. 28) "Always Two There Are" (that episode title is a reference to "The Phantom Menace," when Yoda points out that you always end up encountering Sith lords in pairs of two, a master and an apprentice), Gellar's new Inquisitor character proved she's less of a "Buffy" and more of a "Cruel Intentions" kind of gal -- and yeah, it's pretty terrifying. Still, Gellar's married to a Jedi (Freddy Prinze Jr., who plays Kanan) in real life, so she's probably not about to go all method and turn evil on us anytime soon, right?... Right?
First, The Calm Before The Trauma
At the top of the episode, everyone in the "Rebels" gang is chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool. Captain Rex, the latest addition to the team this season, tries to butt in on Ezra's Jedi training when he has a hard time levitating Chopper the droid (but only because Chopper's the sassiest droid in this quadrant and literally locks his feet down -- never change, Chopper), and Kanan doesn't enjoy it a single bit. He's the older Jedi in this situation, after all, and Rex is just some clone guy who didn't kill all of the Jedi masters. Big whoop, right?
Anyway, while they argue over which of them is the more disciplined leader of men, Ezra sneaks off because watching your mentors fight is totally boring. Instead he joins Sabine, Zeb and Chopper on a new mission: to investigate an Old Republic medical station nearby and salvage whatever supplies they can from the wreckage. It's been abandoned since the Clone Wars and it's totally not spooky at all!
Just Kidding, It's Totally Spooky
So much so that Chopper's ready to bail immediately, because everyone knows old hospitals are the scariest. Instead, he settles for turning on all the lights in the station when they get to the command center, which seems like it should be a good idea by horror movie logic, but totally isn't -- because Agent Callus and the rest of the Empire notice the power urge from their base. One of Darth Vader's new Inquisitors correctly identifies the intruders as the Rebels, which everybody treats like a lame party trick. Come on, guys, do you need old man Han Solo to explain it to you? The Force is totally real!
Meanwhile, the gang has to go hunting for the medical supplies, which, thanks to Ezra, turns into a fun game of "let's run around and make as much noise as possible while accidentally hurting each other!" Totally what you want to do in a creepy abandoned -- well, anywhere. Chopper's not doing too well either; he's been left alone to repair the station's files, but since he's a big scaredy-cat with no sense of genre savviness, he immediately goes to investigate the first weird noise he hears and gets attacked by an imperial droid.
Ezra and the rest take a shortcut through the ventilation system to get back to him (well hello, foreshadowing), but they're too late. By the time they arrive, the probe droid and its master are there to meet him -- and she's another Inquisitor! There are two of them!
Welcome, Buffy The Jedi Slayer!
So let's talk about this new Inquisitor, the Seventh Sister, for a second: she is not messing around. If I didn't know it was Sarah Michelle Gellar already I'm not sure I'd be able to tell, because she's got a menacingly low robotic voice and she's not afraid to straight-up mentally torture a kid to get her way. Now that the rebels have killed the Grand Inquisitor, she tells Ezra, every single Inquisitor is going to start coming after him to prove themselves. But in the meantime, she's gonna have some fun totally making him feel like bantha poodoo and demanding that he contact the Rebel base so they can find its new location.
Meanwhile, the other Inquisitor manages to nab Sabine, and Zeb's left to fight two of those creepy probe droids all by himself (it's not easy, because those little guys pack a huge electrical wallop). He eventually manages to defeat them, find the supplies and pick up Chopper to help him in a ridiculously brilliant scheme: he locks in on Sabine's radio and poses as a Rebel commander who's checking in on them, which is exactly what the Inquisitors want to hear.
Everything Goes Better Than Expected (Kinda)
The two groups plan to meet up at Bay 6, but of coure there's nobody there when the Inquisitors and their hostages arrive -- well, nobody on the ground. Sabine and Ezra figure out that Zeb's lying in wait on the ceiling, so they're ready to jump into the Ghost when he ambushes the two Inquisitors. Together, they all hightail it back to the base. Judging by the look on our new Inquisitor's face, she is not going to forget this anytime soon.
Back at home base (where Kanan and Rex have settled their disagreements over Holochess -- almost), Ezra, Zeb and Sabine fill everyone in on their harrowing adventure and ask Kanan why he never told them that there were more Inquisitors for them to watch out for. He doesn't have an answer because, as he tells Hera, he had no idea there was more than one. He doesn't even know if Ahsoka knows... but as they've now discovered, the Empire knows all about her. Dun dun DUN.
So what's the new Inquisitor's plan? How will she continue to mess with our favorite scrappy team of rebels? I'm just gonna hang out here until next week and hope that all she really wanted was makeup tips from Ahsoka, given Sarah's Halloween costume this year.
How can someone so adorable sound so evil?