After last night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, we have a real soft spot for Teresa Giudice's book editor. Heck, it's possible Teresa requires a whole team of editors for her cookbooks, seeing as she's not even familiar with simple words that are closely related to cooking.

(Then again, this is the same woman who last season made vats of pasta sauce in her garage instead of her gorgeous kitchen so maybe we're the fools for even being surprised.)

In non culinary-related matters, we learned that Melissa's husband can't go any longer than 36 hours without getting laid. We learned Kathy's husband will never button his shirt, but who really cares, because he will buy her a new luxury automobile after she has a crappy day.

Caroline was stern with just about everyone in last night's ep, yet we can't say she actually fought with everyone. And Jacqueline's parents paid her a visit for some scenes so dull we can barely remember what transpired.

Is you guys reddy for sum rekap now?

TERESA (116)

-- At the photo shoot for her cookbook, she tells the crew that she keeps her recipes simple because most have too many "ingredientses" (-5)

-- Then she says "ingredientses" again. You mean that wasn't a mouth typo? That's really what she thinks the word is? (-10)

-- She goes on to pronounce cumin "come in," while everyone on the set looked at each other thinking, "This woman is a best-selling author???" (-3)

-- Says her next book will be called "Fabulicious," but at least she's aware this one's not a real word (+1)

-- Teresa's husband sees her brother at the gym. He wants pummel him, but restrains himself (+2)

-- Teresa goes to Jacqueline's house to write her brother a letter, which is surely a grammatical wasteland (-4)

-- However, her brother will never notice (-3)

-- Blames her brother and Melissa for the entire christening melee and can't conceive that she may have contributed to the mayhem (-3)

-- "I am like God. I forgive people." (-2)

-- Drives letter to her bro's house and leaves the note at the door (+2)

Net gain/loss: -25

Current total: 91

MELISSA (78)

-- Husband Joe comes home and starts hounding Melissa for sex (-3)

-- Yes, the kids are present while this is going on (-1)

-- It's been four entire days since their last mating sesh, and that's three days too long for him (-5)

-- Clearly, he has no recollection of wearing that Halloween outfit. Most of us out here will be surprised if she ever has sex with him again (-3)

-- Joe admits he's constantly horny, a trait that runs in the family. Come to think of it, Teresa has bragged in the past that she and her hubby hump several times a week, too (+2)

-- After the Gorgas read Teresa's note, Melissa encourages Joe to make up with his sister. So far, Melissa's heart seems to be in the right place (+4)

-- She's also the NJ wife who best embodies being a "housewife." Whenever she's at home, she's always cooking, bathing her kids and working her butt off (+3)

-- She says she's too tired to have sex with Joe every single night and appreciates the break when one of her daughters "blocks" at night (-2)

Net gain/loss: -5

Current total: 73

KATHY (85)

-- Kathy and Rich have dinner together and he slurps his soup out of a spoon like my toddler. This guy is a character straight out of The Simpsons (-3)

-- And yes, his shirt is still unbuttoned to his waist, with the giant crucifix dangling down. Guess that's his signature look, so this is the last time we'll mention it unless he changes up his cross or something (-1)

-- Kathy explains to him the fashion show brouhaha, and her Rich holds her hand in support (+2)

-- Goes to Caroline's house to apologize for the fashion show incident. Caroline A) doesn't want to hear it; B) is still loyal to Teresa at this point; and C) and tells Kathy to keep her family business to herself (-3)

-- Kathy is having a rough go of it, so her husband surprises her with a brand new Mercedes and a huge bouquet of roses (+8)

Net gain/loss: +3

Current total: 88

CAROLINE (108)

-- Caroline's sons are moving out and she's sad. Didn't we already go through this last season? (-3)

-- When Kathy comes to her house to apologize, Caroline basically blows her off (-2)

-- At a shopping get-together, Caroline gets annoyed when Teresa won't listen and tells her off a little bit (-1)

-- This season, Caroline seems agitated any time she has to deal with the other women (-3), but honestly, who can blame her? (+2)

Net gain/loss: -7

Current total: 101

JACQUELINE (96)

-- Goes to a psychic, which is what people do on reality TV when their lives aren't interesting anymore (-2)

-- J's parents come to visit and they talk about how to handle Ashley, who is spoiled rotten and totally ridiculous (-3)

-- Jax then goes into her story about being a struggling single mom at Ashley's age, while Ashley is presumably out boo-hooing somewhere over having to commute to work (-3)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 88

CURRENT STANDINGS:

Caroline: 101

Teresa: 91

Kathy: 88

Jacqueline: 88

Melissa: 73