It's been five years to the day since "Toy Story 3" hit theaters June 18, 2010, and we're still not quite done uglycrying.
Doubters will ask, "why cry? Isn't this a movie for kids?"
Um, yes, but kids come in all sizes, as any true "Toy Story" enthusiast knows. And, as we also know, the tears Woody and his pals can incite are simply endless. It's a complicated bundle of emotions: sadness, nostalgia, happiness, utter devastation and the knowledge that it's time to move on and let someone else play with your toys.
Five years down the line, and on the brink of the release of another ugly-cry special Pixar movie, "Inside Out," here are the nine steps of watching the last five minutes of "Toy Story 3."
Realize what's going on.
"This is Jessie, the roughest, toughest cowgirl of the whole West." I don't...I don't quite know what to do with this.
Yeah, that's right, Bonnie. You should be scared of Rex. Oh, wait, you think you're better than Rex? YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD?
OK, breathe through it. Just breathe.
You can do this! It's just a parade of toys who are the best friends you've ever known and who are reminding you of your own childhood toys that you've left behind and forgotten about even though they've always been there for you. No big deal. It's cool. EVERYTHING IS OK.
Anger. Straight up anger.
OH, WAIT. NOT OK. EVERYTHING IS NOT OK. "My cowboy!" HE'S NOT YOUR COWBOY.
Tears. Like a really elegant, restrained tear.
You're holding it together, really. It's fine! You're fine!
You know what, just let it out. You have the whole credits to wipe that mascara off your face.
Happy wahhhhh-nniversary, "Toy Story 3." You've ruined us.