These Little Girls Are Definitely The Future Of Heavy Metal
Remember the eighth-grade metal band that got a $1.7 million record deal back in July? Well, they're not the only young people rocking the H-E-double-hockeysticks out of their instruments. While the heavy metal scene is dude-heavy, YouTube shows us that it won't be dude-dominated for long. Don't believe us? Watch these deceptively adorable prodigies display awesome musical expertise.
Audrey and Kate
Ten-year-old guitarist Audrey and her surly, singing sibling, Kate, made headlines in July with this display of sonic brutality, relentlessly slaying a Slayer song, and having fun doing it, too. Note the unbridled joy in Audrey's face as her little sister screams, ferociously, into a swimming pool noodle. This is metal in its rawest form.
You want to challenge your guitar skills? Try playing along with a Finnish symphonic metal band that has a drummer named Rolf. You'll be humbled, especially after you watch 11-year-old Zoe Thomson do it flawlessly. Don't feel too defeated. Zoe has an advantage, because she attends Newbury Rock School. That's right. They have Rock Schools in England. Move to England, now.
Here's a good litmus test for measuring the thrashworthiness of your band: Does your music confuse Heidi Klum? It does?! Good. That means you thrash hard, just like Aaralyn and her older brother, Isaiah. What's that? And you strike fear into the heart of Scary Spice? Congratulations. You're a brave, heroic metal princess.
Elisabetta is the youngest and most frightening prodigy on our list. Rarely do you see someone in a high chair release such unadulterated rage against laundry and vegetables. This video comes complete with subtitles, making it feel like a metal-infused cross between a Fellini film and baby karaoke.
Note to new parents: If your daughter's name has an umlaut, then, much like Motörhead, she will be a rock legend. Five-year-old Maëly may have cute little girl bangs, but she headbangs her bangs into oblivion (wait for it) during what is possibly the most triumphant SUV baby seat commute of all time. Don't let the pink Hello Kitty jacket fool you -- Maëly is hardcore, and her seatbelt will one day be replaced by a guitar strap embroidered with a huge lightning bolt.
Last year, "Tina S," who was 14 years old at the time, was filmed skillfully thrashing this cover of "Vivaldi Tribute," and got millions of views. If you look closely, you can see that her guitar is a Vigier Excalibur. That means it's a magical instrument that she pulled out of a rock, proving that she is a True Queen of Heavy Metal.
This eight-year-old Japanese girl is the picture of nonchalance as she shreds her way through "Scarified," by Racer X. Besides her impressive guitar abilities, the best part about Li-sa-X is that she completely dominates her guitar, even though it's twice her size.
Sara Menoudakis is the 12-year-old charismatic vocalist of Motion Device, a Canadian rock band out of Toronto. She shares the stage with her older sister Andrea (bass/keys), big brother David (drums), cousin Josh (guitar), and family friend, Alex (guitar). It's a family ensemble, like "The Partridge Family," except they rock with the force of 100 Danny Bonaduces.
Alexey Poblete is crazy-talented, and at 11 years old, she rips so radically on the drums that she can handle "Desolation" by Lamb of God without missing a beat. This video is extra insightful because you can witness Alexey's impressive footwork. Tip: The best part of the video is at 2:00, because Alexey starts rocking so explosively that, with each crash of the China cymbal, a Barbie doll spontaneously combusts.
OK, so Juliet may not be in a real rock band, but she's fierce, and in this viral classic by Aussie producer Rob Sharpe, she makes it abundantly clear that she loves a domesticated dog named Robert. You got a problem with that?! If so, Juliet will be forced to shred you to ribbons.