On March 30, 2001, the world was first introduced to The Cortezes, a family of spies with the niftiest gadgets and gizmos you not-so-secretly coveted. It's hard to believe Carmen (Alexa PenaVega) and Juni's (Daryl Sabara) Spy Kids journey began a whopping 15 years ago today, but here we are. And we still don't have that instant food microwave thingamabob.
To celebrate, let's take a look back at all the celebs you forgot were in the first three films. We don't understand the fourth one and will not acknowledge it. (Sorry, Joel McHale.)
And because we highly doubt you forgot about Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Alan Cumming, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Tony Shalhoub, and Mike Judge, we're leaving them off the list, instead focusing on celebs who didn't appear in all three films.
George Clooney, Spy Kids and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
The Oscar winner played Devlin, the head of the OSS (Organization of Super Spies) in the first film and President of the United States in the third. Apparently, Clooney wore pajama pants when director Robert Rodriguez shot his scene in the first film, which explains why his legs are never shown.
Teri Hatcher, Spy Kids
The Desperate Housewives actress played Ms. Gradenko, an OSS traitor who tried to steal the Third Brain. When Carmen and Juni fought her for it, she accidentally had her hair set on fire via buddy pack, which is the Spy Kids version of a jetpack.
Robert Patrick, Spy Kids
Patrick's appeared in so many different films and TV shows, I guarantee you've seen him before. He was Mr. Lisp, a rich businessman who wanted to take over the world. He's the dude who wanted Fegan Floop (Alan Cumming) and Alexander Minion (Tony Shalhoub) to build him an army for world domination. Yeah, not a good guy.
Steve Buscemi, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
One of the more eccentric characters in the series, Buscemi played Romero, a scientist who lived on an "invisible island" and created Romero's Zoo and Romero's Zoo Too (no, not "Two"), which featured genetically miniaturized animals. In Spy Kids 3D: Game Over, Romero popped up at the end to help the Cortezes fight the Toymaker's robots.
Matt O'Leary, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Emily Osment, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Before Hannah Montana, Osment played Gerti Giggles, younger sister to Gary who was equipped with spinning ponytails that helped her levitate. Oh, and you can't forget that one scene where she and Carmen were captured by Sporky, a giant pig that can fly. Classic.
Ricardo Montalban, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
While Montalban's appeared in so many projects, millennials and founders will probably recognize him — or at least his voice — as Señor Senior Sr. on Kim Possible. He played Carmen and Juni's grandfather, Valentin Avellan. Forced into a wheelchair by Sebastian the Toymaker before the events in Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams, Valentin helped rescue his grandkids from all the bizarre creatures on the island. In Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, he had a more prominent role, teaming up with Juni in a virtual video game to help rescue Carmen.
Holland Taylor, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Valentin's wife Helga Avellan was played by the snobby grandmother on Two and a Half Men. Both she and her husband were retired OSS agents and helped out their grandkids when they were in trouble. She was also a kick-ass fighter.
Taylor Momsen, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams
After she was Cindy Lou Who in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (but before playing Jenny Humphrey on Gossip Girl) Momsen was Alexandra, the President of the United States's daughter. Desperately seeking her father's attention, she tried to bring him to the amusement park by causing an issue with one of the rides. Later she and Juni had a ~moment~ or two, and she appointed Gregorio Cortez (Antonio Banderas) to President of the OSS.
Christopher McDonald, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams
Before Clooney became President of the United States in the Spy Kids world, McDonald held that title. He was also one of the most neglectful parents ever, but I digress.
Bill Paxton, Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams and Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Paxton was Dinky Winks, the owner of the theme park Alexandra tried to sabotage. The theme park scenes were filmed at Six Flags Over Texas, a.k.a. the best Six Flags (but I'm biased).
Glen Powell, Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Before he was Chad Radwell on Scream Queens, Powell was billed as "Long-fingered Boy" in the third movie. He was the host/referee of the RoboCon in the Arena of Misfortune. Though he wasn't ever referred to by name as "Long-fingered Boy," I'm assuming he got his name from the robot he operated with very long fingers.
Salma Hayek, Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Hayek played Cesca Giggles, Gary and Gerti's mother. She, along with her husband Donnagon (Mike Judge), did their best to help Juni navigate his way through the virtual video game to save Carmen and defeat the Toymaker.
Sylvester Stallone, Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Stallone ditched his boxing gloves for robots when he played Sebastian the Toymaker, the main villain in the third film. Pissed he was imprisoned by the OSS, he decided to kidnap all the children in the world and control them for total domination. It was Sly who was pulling the strings for the virtual video game Juni and Carmen had to conquer. He also created three holographs of himself to advise him when need be. LOL.
Elijah Wood, Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Wood was simply known as "The Guy," a pro gamer for the virtual video game and had 100 lives to spare. After helping Juni and Carmen in the game, he was killed. Womp womp.
Selena Gomez, Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Before Wizards of Waverly Place or her music career, Gomez played "Waterpark Girl." No, really, that was her character's name in the closing credits. She hired Juni to find out why the water in her water park, "Agua Park," was missing. Adorbs.
Happy 15th Anniversary, Spy Kids!