In the cobwebbed attic of my ever-fading mind, "Full House" is a pleasant, semi-corny memory only really marred by that time I saw Uncle Jesse's butt when he starred in "Cabaret" on Broadway when I was 16 (so many warring emotions...).

Oh, and then there was that weird yogurt reunion. That was also a little scarring.

Well, my -- and your -- recollection of the show is about to get a lot darker. Introducing, "Sad Full House" -- which is basically a bunch of "learning moments" extracted from the sitcom and examined starkly in the harsh light of day. The creator, Benjamin Apple, is clearly an evil genius.

Yup, this little Web series basically takes this...

...And turns it into this...

Experience the glorious pain below...

Michelle's Mom Is Dead

Stephanie's Mistake

No One Will Believe DJ

Joey Quits Comedy