What better to serve as the soundtrack for an apocalyptic thriller in

which Der Ahnuld must save mankind from Satan's clutches on New Year's

Eve 2000 than a bunch of songs that make you wish you were dead?

Apparently, the good folks at Geffen are way ahead of us on this one, and

they have assembled an album that, on its own, serves as an excellent

argument for the collapse of society. This noisy product tie-in is

front-loaded with brand-new millennial angst from Korn, Rob Zombie, Creed

and a bunch of other disaffected millionaires. It's the feel-bad hit of

the season.

The main attraction is undoubtedly "Oh My God" (RealAudio

excerpt), the first new Guns N' Roses song in nearly seven years

and a teaser for the long-delayed new GNR album, Chinese Democracy,

which harried representatives from Geffen now swear will be released

sometime in the next millennium. The fact that no one is actually still

in Guns N' Roses has not deterred Axl Rose from forging on with

new members/employees such as Nine Inch Nails' Robin Finck, The Vandals'

Josh Freese, and (oh my god) the Replacements' Tommy Stinson. Who gets

to wear the top hat? The long-awaited song itself turns out to be

three-and-a-half minutes of high speed, industrial-tinged metal, not as

far removed from the GNR of yore as one might have expected. Axl's

screeching vocals are a welcome, even comforting noise, like an annoying

old friend that you didn't even realize you missed.

When I listen to this album, it makes my neighbors edgy and puts my dog

in a foul mood. Even when turned down, it seems loud. The metal is of the

industrial, mechanized variety, best exemplified in the remix of Rob Zombie's

"Superbeast," included here. Everlast's "So Long" is "What It's Like"/"Ends"

redux, with fuzzy guitars thrown in to underscore its dark lyrics, which

depict a high school loner taking revenge, Columbine-style. Meanwhile,

Korn's album-opening "Camel Song" (RealAudio

excerpt) (brand-new, though it sounds just like every other Korn

song) is just further proof that not all the kids who got beaten up

relentlessly in high school turn to violence for revenge against the world.

Some just make bad music.

Of course, Korn are hardly the only band crafting songs for teenagers to

scowl to outside of strip malls, and the upstarts are represented here

by Professional Murder Music's really fast "Slow" (RealAudio

excerpt) and Stroke's "I Wish I Had." Other tracks, such as Creed's

"Wrong Way" and Prodigy's "Poison," have been previously released but are

included to keep the bad vibes flowing.

Somehow, Sonic Youth are thrown into the morass with "Sugar Kane," their

single from 1992's Dirty. This is, by far, the most musically

straightforward, upbeat and unadorned six minutes of the album, standing

out from the grim-faced crowd like Waldo.

Other selections include angry, angry new rap from Eminem and, grrrrr,

Limp Bizkit. But the kids love it, and the kids can't be wrong, right?

End of days? Bring it on.