American Horror Story: 1984 Brings Brutal Murder To A Sunny Summer Camp

Camp Redwood looks kinda dangerous

If you're a teen who loves to party, hang out with friends, and go swimming at the lake, you should probably steer clear from Camp Redwood, or any other camp in an '80s movie, for that matter.

If there's anything the slasher flicks of the '80s taught us, it's that partaking in any of those things (especially sex) is apparently a bad idea. Why? A masked slasher is going to come around and hack you to bits, of course.

In the latest set of teasers for American Horror Story: 1984 (Season 9, if you can believe that!) we see all of these life lessons coming to fruition in some of the most beautifully '80s ways possible. While this doesn't look like footage pulled from the show itself, as is typically the way with teasers from past American Horror Story seasons, it definitely captures the vibe we know the show will be going for.

A pickup truck full of teens are headed to Camp Redwood (accompanied by Eddie and the Cruisers' "On The Dark Side"), but something sinister waits beneath them: a slasher. Another shot paints an idyllic scene where a teen is relaxing on the water at camp, before a slasher rises out of the water to claim her life, presumably. Big yikes. The Motels' quintessentially '80s "Suddenly Last Summer" drifts out listlessly over the macabre visuals for a stunning juxtaposition of kitschy and murderous. Yass, give us those Jason Voorhees Friday the 13th vibes.

The horrific festivities are getting underway this year just in time for us to start planning our Halloween costumes, with the first episode debuting on September 18 on FX. The scariest part is, however, the fact that Evan Peters won't be appearing in the show this season. Here's hoping he's back for the 10th go-around, at the very least.