It's time we face facts: Looking for Alaska will most likely never see the big screen. The beloved John Green novel about kids at boarding school has been in development limbo for over a decade, and one of the last big updates about the project was also one of its most heartbreaking.

Green admitted on Twitter in 2016 that Paramount Pictures — which owns the film rights "for the rest of all eternity" — simply won't return his calls. [Note: Paramount Pictures and MTV News are both owned by Viacom.]

Thankfully, there are people like YouTuber Elle Mills, who can give us a clever Looking for Alaska trailer and ease our broken hearts. On Wednesday (February 8), Mills posted her own edited fake trailer, using clips from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Paper Towns, Stuck in Love, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, and Love, Rosie.

After some fan-casting, Mills made Perks star Logan Lerman the protagonist, Miles "Pudge" Halter. His crush, Alaska Young, is none other than his Stuck in Love crush, Lily Collins. Pudge's roommate and Alaska's BFF, Chip "The Colonel" Martin, is bae Josh Hutcherson, while Emma Watson is Pudge's girlfriend, Lara Buterskaya.

Weave in songs by The 1975 and Keane, and you've got an A-plus faux-trailer about teens worthy of our time. Check out the vid above and try not to cry about the current state of Green's inaugural novel.