Will Smith and his 14-year-old son Jaden are not just indistinguishable doppelgangers on the outside; they're also whacked out brothers in arms who share a common interest in slinging around majorly bats**t crazy talk during press chats.

The two tag-teamed a New York Magazine (by way of Vulture) reporter recently on the subject of their latest joint venture movie, "After Earth," and in the process the Smith pair spilled some bananas business like we've never heard before.

Quick! Somebody get Harmony Korine on the horn to let him know his Hollywood's Most Crazy hat's been stolen!

No, but seriously, we'd heard talk of Big Willie Style bein' all in it before, but now that his particular brand of weird has rubbed off on Smith Jr. we're totally convinced.

First, take note of this weird thing that happened on Ellen's couch ...

... then see if you can get jiggy with these top five zany things the pair had to say during the talk. Trust us when we say it was rather difficult to narrow it down.

5. Will on his home decor demands

"I think that if you were to come to the house, people would really be ­surprised at how simple and basic it is. Our whole dream for our home was for it to be an artist’s haven. So there are paint supplies; there’s a piano with a microphone and a recorder right there to capture things right in the second. There’s editing equipment. There are cameras. I think the only thing in our house that people would be surprised by is the efficiency ... just how serious we are about how the microphone at the piano has to be on and the recorder has to be ready to go for when somebody gets an idea. The paint supplies have got to be kept up—you know, you cannot go to paint something and a color's empty." (You cannot.)

4. Jaden on Daddy Dearest as his collaborative partner

"I definitely would do another one, absolutely. You know, how Johnny Depp and Tim Burton always do movies together, Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio? We'll have a relationship like that." (Those people aren't related.)

3. Will confirming his unabashed nepotism

"It's less scary to me than if he wanted to be a dentist in that I couldn't help with what he’d chosen. I have relationships with some of the biggest filmmakers and actors and producers on Earth. So I can be a huge help." (Drill, Jaden, drill.)

2. Jaden admitting he's soooo spoiled

"There was a time in my life when I’d go to Cartier, like, every weekend for like a month." (You know, as kids do.)

1. Will just being a strange one

"I'm a student of patterns. At heart, I'm a physicist. I look at everything in my life as trying to find the single equation, the theory of everything." (Will Smith: Physicist.)

Is your mind absolutely blown yet or what? "Fresh Prince," "Karate Kid," potato, potahhhto.

Not pictured, but still definitely a real thing: The Family Smith's alphabetized laser disc collection.