When Cyndi Lauper released her 1980s anthem, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, we're positive the scene that unfolded at Tamra Barney's 1980s-themed bunco party wasn't what she had in mind.

The hard feelings between Vicki Gunvalson and Gretchen Rossi escalated as they Pumped Up the Volume on their latest fight, and Alexis Bellino definitely had some Tainted Love for her O.C. sisters when she suspected them of trashing her for getting a nose job. Meanwhile, Heather Dubrow and Tamra were all, like, We're Not Gonna Take It!, and tried to iron out a few skirmishes, but to no avail. Good grief, will someone just Pass The Dutchie already and calm these idiots down?

Or, how about some Our Lips Are Sealed? Anyone?

In medical developments, Vicki prepared for her daughter's surgery, while Alexis hoped she could finally bid her early-morning snot rockets farewell.

Hey, man. Don't Stop Believin'.

VICKI (57)

-- Vicki is upset when Slade arrives to the bunco bash, and since her new dude couldn't make it, she feels alone (-3)

-- She calls Slade a piece of sh*t, and leaves. She paces around outside the party venue for a while, wearing her ridiculous 80s garb, then decides to go back in and take out all her pent-up frustration and anger on  Slade and Gretchen. This has "Uh oh" written all over it... no woo-hoos will be had on this night (-3)

-- She and Gretchen erupt into a huge "My boyfriend isn't a dead beat daddy, but yours sure is!" argument that drudges up seasons of bitterness and anger. So much for the 1980s being, like, a totally tubular time! (-4)

-- Even though Tamra has Vicki's back, in confessional, Tamra wonders why Vicki thinks that Brooks -- who was arrested for not paying child support -- is any different than Slade, who also allegedly financially neglected his children. Everyone's complaint: Vicki can dish out the insults, but can't take 'em (-4)

-- Vicki's daughter, Brianna, goes to visit her step-dad and his new place. She talks to him about her medical condition (possible cancer) and surgery (removal of her thyroid and lymphnodes), and Don is calm, rational and supportive. At least Brianna has someone level-headed to talk to (+5)

-- That's not to say that Vicki isn't worried and supportive, it's just that her whole diatribe is always about how Brianna's condition is affecting HER, and not always about how Brianna herself is doing (-3)

-- Vicki gets points for having a brave, mature daughter, however. She's been through a lot and is a pretty amazing young lady (+5)

Net gain/loss: -7

Current total: 50

GRETCHEN (45)

-- Even though everyone seems to concur that Slade took things a little too far, Gretchen stands by her man during the huge blowout. So, she's stupid (-2), but at least she's loyal to her stupidity (+3)

-- After she and Vicki have it out at the top  of their lungs and Vicki leaves, Gretchen continues to smack-talk Vicki to everyone else. Sadly, no DJ is on cue to spin Let's Go Crazy, because that's how we're feeling right about now (-3)

-- Next day, Gretchen's barely got a voice because she was yelling so much the night before.  This is the best thing that's happened to viewers all episode, but for Gretchen... no bueno. How will she be able to remind Slade he's her 'bitch' now? (-4)

Net gain/loss: -4

Current total: 41

TAMRA (69)

-- Tamra feels bad that Vicki is so upset about Slade's presence at the party, and claims she wouldn't have invited him if she knew the results would be that intense. Um, was her Olivia Newton John headband too tight? What did she think was going to happen? (-2)

-- After Vicki goes completely freakin' bonkers in an argument with Gretchen and Slade, Tamra rushes outside to talk her down. (+2) It's the thought that counts, but too bad she didn't think that hard on it before this whole mess went down (-3)

-- Inside, Gretchen is hugely pissed at Vicki. Tamra defends Vicki while staying cordial with Gretchen. Who knew Tamra had all this calm goodwill inside her? (+3)

-- Oh nevermind -- she can't keep her inner bitch under wraps for long! When the nose surgery skirmish breaks out shortly after, Tamra says to Alexis, "Well, your nose IS kinda big!" Isn't this the same person who was just upset because Slade called her ass big? She's not building up any good karma here (-5)

Net gain/loss: -10

Current total: 59

HEATHER (111)

-- Heather is mortified by the Gretchen and Vicki's bitch-fest at the party (-3), but little does she know that she'll be getting into it with someone momentarily

-- The ladies begin asking Heather's hubs plastic surgery questions, and then Gretchen brings up Alexis' impending nose job. Alexis assumes everyone is talking smack about her and butts in to reprimand the table, which includes Heather and her husband (- 2)

--Later, Heather tries to diffuse the situation with Alexis, but Alexis is too worked up to be rational. Soon, Heather will learn that's par for the course ... with everyone on this cast (-3)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 103

ALEXIS (75)

-- Alexis overhears people at the other table discussing sinus surgeries/nose jobs. While her upcoming surgery is what began the conversation, she assumes the entire discussion is about her and starts going off on everyone. She defends her sinus condition and, at least three times, she mentions that she has to pull a string of snot out of her mouth every morning because her sinuses don't drain properly from her nose. OMG, TMI (-5)

--  Alexis admits she's having a nose job in addition to the sinus surgery, but continues to defend herself anyway. She seems to be the only one who's concerned about it. I mean, it's Orange County, dude, plastic surgery is pretty much a given (-3)

-- Once Alexis is at the doc's office, she is again a blubbering mess, scared about how horrible she'll feel when she's all done. We understand being afraid of surgery, but after seeing how brave Vicki's daughter is about possibly having cancer and preparing undergo major, major surgery, it's hard to feel sorry for Alexis, her string of snot, and the bump on her nose (-5)

Net gain/loss: -13

Current total: 62

SCORECARD:

Heather: 103

Alexis: 62

Gretchen: 41

Vicki: 50

Tamra: 59