I must say that The Olde Stone Mill, featured on last night's Kitchen Nightmares, had more going for it than previous restaurants shown this season. The location didn't seem too bad and the outside of the building looked very nice (except for the lack of signage). The dining area inside was definitely more spacious and and more elegant than what we have been used to. And dare I say it, the kitchen was clean! But there were still those same pesky problems that plague so many restaurants: nasty food and awful management.

Dean, the owner of The Olde Stone Mill for six years, was too much of a schmoozer with the customers and enforced absolutely no quality control in the kitchen. His wife, Barbara, would rather not confront the fact that they were $500,000 in debt and preferred having her head in the sand. Mike, the chef, lacked passion in his cooking and taste in his palate. This week's bumbling general manager was dear old Tom and our hostess with the mostest was Jeanie.

Tell me the truth now. Have you ever heard of shrimp cocktail where the shrimp was wrapped in bacon? I've had shrimp wrapped in bacon but never with shrimp cocktail. And would you honestly eat a chopped salad that looked like that? Why hadn't somebody melted Mike's funnel long ago? I like tilapia. I like lobster. Tilapia stuffed with lobster sounds disconcerting.

After having "the talk" with Dean and Barbara about the dire straits their restaurant is in, Gordon observes a full dinner service on a Saturday night. Mike's overwhelmed in the kitchen while Dean is up front schmoozing and drinking. The food finally began arriving after an hour and I felt oddly disturbed for the people who ordered the calamari (one of my favorite appetizers). It was served in a giant martini glass. What the .... When the food began going back to the kitchen, Dean finally decided to step in but not in a good way. He just wanted the food out to the tables and didn't care about the quality in the least.

On Day 2, Gordon told Dean that the food needed some serious attention and that he shouldn't be rushing it so much. And then Dean did a no-no. He accused Gordon of paying his customers to say his food was good. Gordon calls Dean a fake. Dean calls Gordon a fake right back. Dean is quite the arrogant jerk. On Day 3, Gordon toured the town and decided that Tuckahoe needed a steakhouse. He then shows Mike how to cook steak properly and how to serve a simple chopped salad. Gordon then presents the steakhouse idea to Dean who's not very fond of the idea. Too bad though because if Gordon says it's going to be a steakhouse then that's what it shall be.

On Day 4 (wait for it, wait, OK), the design team makes over the dining area. They even put in a weird bench table/sofa thing in the middle of it all. Hmmm. A makeover means they will be relaunching that evening. Two hours before opening, Tom is falling over himself trying to remember the cuts of beef for his table-side presentation (very cool I think). The doors open and I almost passed out.

They showed Gordon Ramsay shirtless again! Are the producers reading my innermost thoughts? Well, maybe they're not so "inner" but it's very nice of them to think of me. Thumbs up! I guess I should get back to the relaunch.

They're fully booked and the mayor and his entourage are even there. Tom's having a hard time handling all that beef and Jeanie's herding the customers around like cattle. Sound the alarm! Printer problems in the kitchen! Dean and Mike started yelling at each other like immature tweens blaming everything and everyone but themselves for the wait the customers are having to endure. But of course, the printer gets fixed and the night manages to finish quasi-successfully.

In the update since, we found out that Dean has successfully taken charge and Tom's much more confident in his managerial duties. Mike has rekindled his passion for cooking. (Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it?) In honor of the mill's 200th birthday, a celebration party was organized by Gordon for the town and the mayor even gave him a key to the town. It was for the town of Yonkers but whatever. And the biggest thing? Gordon set them up a light sign on the side of the restaurant. It looks fabulous!

Next week, they're going to be in Hollywood. I didn't know there was a Hollywood, New York? Let me look that up. There's not a Hollywood, New York! They're actually leaving the state. Wa-hoo! It's a pizzeria in, I assume, Hollywood, Californ-i-a. Until next week Gordon!

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