Amy Schumer's new comedy "Trainwreck" hit theaters July 17 (in case you live under a rock).

Besides Schumer, the film stars Bill Hader, LeBron James (yes, really), John Cena, Tilda Swinton and, like, 57 million other awesome people. We decided to take five of those characters and make a quiz about who'd be your perfect partner-in-crime. We know, we know. You want LeBron James, but we all want things in life, don't we?