Warning: Major spoilers for all of the Harry Potter books and movies ahead. You've been warned.
Over the thousands of pages of "Harry Potter" books and hours of their movie adaptations, funeral bells rang almost constantly. Hell, baby Harry's first nickname is "The Boy Who Lived." Where Harry goes, death tends to follow.
Considering the extremely high death toll in "Harry Potter" and our ongoing emotional investment in the series, it seems only appropriate that we put our tears to good use and rank the deaths in order of emotional devastation, from "cool with it" to "need a moment" to "day ruined if you even bring it up." Which Potterverse character's death made you the saddest?
Grab your tissues, read on and cry with us.
The cleverest of the Peverell brothers, we aren't mourning this one because he died of natural causes, at peace with the life he'd lived. He (sniff) walked with Death as an equal.
No, we didn't feel a single drop of remorse over the extermination of Voldemort's final Horcrux.
"Not my daughter, you bitch!" Get it, Molly!
Traitor. He deserved to have his own hand choke him. #nomercy
There was still a tiny bit of humanity left in Voldemort, and he was interconnected with Harry, after all. It's a tiny bit sad.
That Devil's Snare will get you.
Talk about ungrateful sons. Way harsh.
Neville Longbottom's first big kill at the Battle of Hogwarts.
Wilkes and Rosier
That's what you get for hanging with the Dark Lord.
This guy took a Killing Curse meant for Lupin straight to the face. Serves him right.
Another mostly-anonymous victim of the Death Eaters.
I.E. the reason we have to hear about the Grim all the time. Is that what actually killed him? Who knows.
Anonymous Muggle and Albanian Peasant
These randos died so Voldemort could turn Slytherin's locket and Ravenclaw's Diadem into Horcruxes. We hardly knew ye.
A wand couldn't save him.
Basilisk/Serpent of Slytherin
Perhaps not evil so much as misunderstood? Parseltongue is a dying language.
Bummer, but at least he gets to hang around (literally) as a portrait.
Prof. Cuthbert Binns
Who says death has to stop your career? Not this guy!
Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington
Bad day: Getting beheaded. Worse day: Only getting beheaded partway. :/
Prof. Quirinus Quirrell
We don't care how shy you are, never, ever agree to let the Dark Lord burn himself into the back of your head.
Hannah must be bummed.
Jealousy will get you. Sometimes, right in the throat.
Another Order of the Phoenix member gone too soon.
Tom Riddle Sr.
Not a nice boy, but that's still a pretty crappy way to die.
Tom and Mary Riddle
That's no way to treat your grandparents, VoldeTom.
The former Durmstrang headmaster was not a nice dude, and his attempt to run from the Death Eaters, rather than fight against them, doesn't earn him any points.
Yes, his intentions were noble, and he died facing the Dark Lord and telling him he didn't know where Harry was, but we're not over his attempts to get Harry to act as the Ministry's spokesman. Not cool.
This five-year-old died after being attacked by Fenrir Greyback. Too soon!
Traveling is a risky business, especially when you run into Death Eaters.
On one hand, he was Dumbledore's BFF and, from what we hear, a very charming youth. On the other hand, he was also an evil wizard. You decide.
He literally brought it upon himself.
Unable to truly reunite with his dead love even with the help of the Resurrection Stone, Cadmus hanged himself.
Cadmus Peverell's fiancee
"Soon she turned sad and cold for she did not belong in the mortal world." Bummer.
This little goblin died on the run from the Snatchers.
He died after being caught by the Snatchers, on the run for faking his family tree to try and prove magical ancestry.
Voldemort's mom was only trying to find happiness when she died in childbirth. "I hope he looks like his papa?" Never mind the fact that the wee baby turned out to be the Dark Lord, if you're not touched by those last words, we don't know who you are.
The Bloody Baron
Heartbroken, he committed suicide after killing the next on our list. At least the dude had love in his life, right?
Helena Ravenclaw/The Grey Lady
The Bloody Baron murdered her when she admitted that she wasn't in love with him. Hot tip: murder is not the best way to win a girl's heart.
Obesity is an epidemic.
She may have been totally disillusioned and materialistic, but it sucks that she was murdered for her relics.
Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel
They had this nice long life and they got to choose when they died, but we can't help but mourn the Philosopher's Stone mogul.
He gave Tonks the worst first name ever, but her poor dad didn't deserve to get killed by the Snatchers.
Even worse than the old woman's death after being attacked by Nagini is the fact that she was used as a skinsuit and possessed by the snake after she died. Spooky, spooky horror show.
She took care of her unpredictable daughter Ariana and kept her secret until Ariana one day lost control of her magic, killing Kendra.
An accidental death is always tragic, but we feel for little Luna, who witnessed this one.
This is the one death that J.K. Rowling says she regrets writing into the books. We liked Fortescue -- after all, he's the ice cream guy -- but he's not the one we're saddest about. Sad, but not the saddest.
Gideon and Fabian Prewett
They died like heroes for being part of the Order of the Phoenix, but they still died.
She's a brat, but she's our toilet brat. Sure, poor bullied Myrtle can hide in bubble baths and look at all the no-nos she wants now, but the reality of it is that she was a tween killed by a snake monster when she just wanted to have a nice cry in the bathroom. Tough break.
He died after a life of imprisonment for attacking the Muggles who had harassed his daughter, and couldn't clear his name with Muggle authorities without outing his daughter as a witch.
After voting to clear Harry of his violation of the Magical Secrecy Act, we always had a special place in our hearts for Madame Bones.
Binky, Lavender's pet rabbit
She was just a BABY.
The dude was just a gardener! Taking care of a house! He deserved a lovely retirement, not Voldemort's Killing Curse.
His family assumed for years that he was killed by Death Eaters for leaving them, when in fact he drowned trying to destroy one of Voldemort's Horcruxes. We salute you, Regulus.
Spider in Prof. Moody's class
We didn't know your name, little spider, but we do know that your death totally freaked everyone in that Defense Against the Dark Arts class out. And us, too.
Muggles killed by Pettigrew on Voldemort Day
He was Harry's biggest fan!
The Muggle Studies teacher murdered for her goal of understanding the non-magical world is hard to forget, and the terror of her last moments -- suspended over a table of Death Eaters -- is creepy. We get that Snape couldn't blow his cover, but come on.
Unexpected, and almost overlooked due to the mass casualties at the Battle of Hogwarts.
Well-loved but misunderstood, Ariana died in the crossfire of a duel between Albus Dumbledore, Grindelwald and Aberforth Dumbledore. No one was ever sure whose spell killed her, and her death haunted all three.
Barty Crouch Sr.
Murdering your own dad? He wasn't a nice dude, but way harsh.
Unicorns in the Forbidden Forest
Creepy, creepy, creepy.
This one grates. He took a hit while trying to stop Mundungus Fletcher from fleeing battle, and, ugh. The guy spent an entire year locked in a trunk having his hair stolen, he deserved a better death and a longer life.
Creepy, yes. Ultimately helpful, also yes. Plus, Hagrid loved him, so we love him.
She wasn't even supposed to be there, and poor baby Teddy was left an orphan after her death. Why, Tonks, why?!
HOLY S--T. We only need one word to explain why we're so torn up over this one: "Always."
The very last of the Marauders, Lupin was the last of Harry's parents' friends left alive. Not to mention the whole "new wife, new baby, new hope" thing.
Talk about unexpected. He was finally reconciling with Percy, and was hit mid-sentence. We never imagined that the twins would be separated by anything, let alone death.
Kill the spare?! WHAT? Way harsh, Voldemort.
She died defending his CRIB. Bonus sadness points for when she comes back before Harry goes into the forest and tells him he's been so brave. Sob.
He was Harry's mentor and was holding the wizarding world together with both hands by the time he died, but we're extra-touched because with his dying wishes -- he secretly asked Snape to kill him -- he kept Draco Malfoy's hands clean of murder.
He had so much to live for! Harry, mostly. His name was eventually cleared, and there was plenty of lost time to make up for. Plus, falling through an archway to the afterlife is a really upsetting way to die.
It was only temporary, and it was just the Voldemort part of him, but damn that hurt.
Loyal to the end, we can't even read the earlier parts of the books mentioning Dobby without misting up. Call it the "Where the Red Fern Grows" effect if you want. All he wanted to do was help Harry, even when all Harry wanted to do was YELL AND YELL. Here lies Dobby, a free -- where's that tissue?
She was with Harry from his introduction into the magical world, the very first gift he ever got (sniff), and no matter which version you choose, her death was tragic. In the movie, she died protecting him. In the book, she suffered the senseless end of being hit by a misaimed Killing Curse. Cue the tears.