Because you'll find not a single glimpse of Gosling's flesh in the teaser trailer for "Lost River" (formerly "How to Catch a Monster"), which arrives in Cannes this week. The film marks Gosling's directorial debut, and considering he's confessed to needing "a break from myself," it's no surprise that a) he apparently doesn't appear in the film and b) he has a character in the trailer taunt viewers, over and over again, with the phrase "Look at my muscles!"
Just as you shouldn't look to the trailer for a peek at Gosling's flesh, don't expect it to deliver a shred of information about the plot. But we've got you covered there: co-starring Christina Hendricks and Ben Mendelsohn, the film follows a single mother whose teenage son discovers a secret road leading to an underwater town. Whatever that means! Anyway, enough already - obey the Gos and behold muscles that are not his.