By Jenny McCoy
I'm not letting anyone finish: Kanye West is the best tweeter of all time. Though he is fairly new to the Twitter game, his feed (which already has nearly 600,000 followers) has quickly become the most essential on the Internet. Doubters and aspiring tweeters, please step aside and let me map out Kanye's path to Twitter greatness -- because really, no one tweeter should have all this power.
First, let's look at how Kanye tweets. All of his updates come from the web because, according to Mr. West, he does not own a cell phone. Proof:
This may seem so very 1996, but it produces a phenomenon I now refer to as "Kanye Tweet Waves." These waves are composed of several tweets sent within minutes of one another. Whether related or not, Kanye Tweet Waves are especially fun to ride. Take this wave for example:
Kanye's last elevator tweet highlights yet another strength of his stream: Deep, thought-provoking tweets. Or as I like to call them, "Fortune Cookie Tweets." Fortunately, for those of us who prefer stairs, these insightful tweets are not limited to elevators:
Oh, so true!
Moving on to lighter matters, Kanye's frequent repetition of status updates shows he truly understands his audience and the challenges of the medium. If you have a healthy follow list you know that it's very difficult to catch every tweet, so Kanye compensates:
Beyond these tactics, Kanye just seems to know what we want. We want to go to cool places with cool people and do cool things. And occasionally, we want to know what it’s really like to sleep on fur pillows:
Good to know!
Sure, it's great to live vicariously through Kanye each time I log on, but his best tweets make me feel like Kanye and I are basically the same person. Sometimes these hints of imperfection come in the form of grammar revision trails and other times through simple updates like these:
And with that, it's my pleasure to officially crown Kanye West as the Best Tweeter Of All Time. I would tweet this to him, but I get the impression that he already knows:
One more time!