Why is Ariana Grande's hair so big? Because it's full of secrets — and superpowers.

The Sweetener singer — who's currently across the pond dazzling with the Brits with funky cover songs — appeared in a pre-taped sketch that aired on The Tonight Show on Wednesday (September 5). The premise: Ari's signature, sky-high ponytail is — gasp! — sentient. It can pick up the phone, sign an autograph for Questlove, fetch a La Croix for Jimmy Fallon, and, in the grand finale, stop a robbery and perform a citizen's arrest. As Grande says, it's simply "sick."

Grande went ponytail-less for a while in August — during the release week for Sweetener and for her heavenly VMA performance — but she admitted going back to her fave style was "just meant to be." Now we can totally see why — male, mumbly voice aside, her beloved pony is basically an extra assistant/security guard/superhero rolled into one. She's up, she's divine, and she's a certified badass.