A key guidette player is missing from Jersey Shore Family Vacation, and her AWOL status was a hot topic on tonight's series premiere.

So why was good ol' Sammi not with her cohorts in Miami? Call us crazy, but it might have something to do with the fact that her ex-boyfriend was gonna be there. Hey, Ronnie himself admitted it!

Deena, who still maintains a close relationship with Sam, came forth with this bit of intel: "I tried to get her to come so many times, and I could tell she's just so over living in a house with a whole bunch of people. She's really happy with [her current boyfriend]."

No matter. Ron was quick to remind everyone of "the bulls**t" that came with living in a house with the self-proclaimed "sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet." And that's when Deena put the smackdown on talking smack about Sammi: "Sam is our friend, so I will not like anybody talking bad about her. If anybody talks bad about Sam, I'll be sad." (And nobody wants a sad Deena.)

Naturally, ever-present prankster Pauly D added fuel to the fire by scaring the bejesus out of surprising everyone with a life-size Sammi doll, complete with all our favorite Sammi-isms.

While Deena refused to play into it and Ron maintained it was Sammi's own choice not to come, JWOWW said it best: "I love her to death, but if you choose not to come on vacation with us, we are going to roast you... HARD."

Fast forward to a night of fist pumping (yes, five years later and they're still beatin' that beat), and D notices Ron acting "super weird." And that's when Ron drilled it home to his roomie during a heart-to-heart at the club.

"[Sam's] not here," said the dad-to-be. "She's not our friend. She doesn't have our back. 'Cause if she did, she'd be here with us. Bottom line. I'm having a mother-f**king kid, and I'm still here... What the f**k does she got going on that's more important than [that]?"

Touché, Ron. Touché. Do you think he has a point, or is Deena right? And most importantly, do you think Sammi should have joined the "family vacation"? Take our poll, comment with your thoughts and catch a new episode next Jerzday Thursday at 8/7c.