As usual, everything always begins with Kanye. But this week, as we continue to police the Twitter timeline for high-profile abuses, we also encounter celebrities who managed to make the #FreeKesha movement about themselves; our first reader submission; and we revisit a great moment in Twitter history on its fifth anniversary.
When music producer Bob Ezrin took his vendetta against Kanye West to the Internet — whatever you may think of him, to classify Kanye's impact on hip-hop as unimportant is beyond biased and reckless — it was obvious Ye would retaliate. What you couldn't have anticipated, however, is aspiring rapper Young Platinum changing his name to Bob Ezrin on Twitter and antagonizing Ye.
His tweets were funny, I'll give him that. And as far as promo goes, it's actually pretty ingenious. But as of today, Platinum hasn't changed his name back from Bob Ezrin, so he's clearly ... continuing the joke? Even though the only outlet that reported on it was Us Weekly. It was a nice effort, but he didn't even get Kanye to @ him when he referenced his tweets.
Which, by the way, if I were doing a throwback installment of Delete Your Account, that Macklemore tweet is OUTRAGEOUS. But I digress.
Should Young Platinum Delete His Account? I mean, at least change your Twitter handle back.
It's been amazing to see so many celebrities coming out in support of Kesha as she seeks to end her relationship with alleged abuser Dr. Luke. But, of course, with any big moment like this in pop culture, someone always has to make it about themselves. Cue social-justice warrior Demi Lovato (whom I normally love) doing exactly that. For whatever reason, she has a vendetta against Taylor Swift — I mean, there are myriad potential reasons, I just don't know the specific one — and decided to drag Kanye's favorite pop star on Twitter.
Girl, you are not allowed to say "self-proclaimed feminists," and need to do more than tweet about it from Calabasas or wherever the hell you live. You had one job. Tweet "#FreeKesha" and move on. Don't be messy. It's not becoming.
Are you on Capitol Hill right now? The woman just tried to help cover Kesha's very expensive legal expenses and you want her to, what, sit on the steps of Capitol Hill and sing "I'm Just a Bill"? Remember when you asked your fans not to give money to a children's hospital, but to buy copies of Confident and then donate those albums to said hospital — but only after they've helped you with album sales? Taylor's too busy to call you out on that, but I'm not, because I'm petty.
Should Demi Delete Her Account? Seems like you should follow your own advice, Gloria Steinem.
At some point, Dr. Luke's legal team must have taken a bathroom break, because he "broke his silence" about Kesha this week. But let's address the most pertinent aspect of his Twitter spree. Dr. Luke really wants us to know that he was raised by a feminist mom. Which means he couldn't possibly have raped or abused anyone, as Kesha has accused. This is pretty much the "I have some black friends" argument when claiming you're not a racist. Regardless of Dr. Luke's alleged crimes, this was a silly thing to tweet. I'm pretty sure O.J. Simpson's mom cared about equal pay too.
He finished his rant by stating, "This is an ongoing legal case so I won't be responding / talking much about this," which seems ironic given his multiple tweets about the subject, but what do I know?
Should Dr. Luke Delete His Account? #FreeUsFromYourTweets
King Kylie Kollection. Anything wrong with that acronym? No? OK.
Should Kyle Delete Her Account? Sis ...
In our first-ever Delete Your Account reader submission, someone took umbrage with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills's Camille Grammer airing out her ex-husband Kelsey's dirty laundry. Clearly, this person has no idea that Camille coined the phrase "the morally corrupt Faye Resnick" and thus will have my unflagging support until I breathe my last breath. So if Camille wants to call Kelsey out for cheating on her and being a deadbeat dad, I'm not gonna advise her to delete her account, I'm gonna make some popcorn.
Should Camille Delete Her Account? Please, God, never.
THIS WEEK IN TWITTER HISTORY: RIHANNA VS. CIARA
While discussing celebrity Twitter accounts, I'd be remiss if I didn't honor the fifth anniversary of the greatest Twitter exchange known to mankind. On February 25, 2011, Rihanna caught wind of an interview in which Ciara called her mean. She responded with, "My bad ci, did I 4get to tip u? #howrudeofme." Ciara, in the midst of a career downturn and before releasing the banging self-titled album Ciara, inadvisably shot back, "Trust me Rhianna u dont want to see me on or off the stage." At which point Rihanna WENT IN FOR THE KILL.
The wind began to switch. A house pitched. And it landed on Ciara in the middle of a ditch. Rihanna, eternal inspiration in pettiness that she is, has not deleted the tweet to this day despite the two making up minutes later. If this column existed then, I would have never suggested Rihanna or Ciara delete their accounts. No greater event has happened to man since Prometheus stole fire and gave it to us.