Ed Sheeran is the rare celeb who not only seems to live the life that we imagine celebs live -- you know, partying and becoming best friends with every other famous person -- but also shares stories of those nights of fame-filled debauchery.

There was that time he ate pizza and hit a dive bar with Jay Z and Beyoncé. Or how 'bout this past weekend, when he partied with Taylor Swift and co. for the 4th of July?

Well, now we've got two more stories to add to that epic resume.

Things started when, on Beats 1, Zane Lowe asked Ed about what texts he's received recently, which proved to be a launching pad for the "Photograph" singer's story about a few nights with the Weeknd.

"I was in Toronto, I ended up at the Weeknd's house -- had never met him before," he explained. "He was like, 'Come to my house, I'm having a party.' He has good parties."

Hm, what's that you say? "He has good parties?" Yeah, that's not surprising. OK, go on.

"When we were at the party, we were really drunk, and he was like, 'You should come to my house tomorrow! We should write a song!' And in my head, I'm like, the Weeknd doesn't wanna write a song -- the Weeknd doesn't work with anyone. He's got one feature on his album, which is Kanye West. He doesn't wanna do that. And then the next day, he hit me up again, so I went, and we wrote this song, which is really, really f--king good."

Hold on. What just happened here? Ed Sheeran and the Weeknd got drunk together and decided to write a song? And Kanye West is on the Weeknd's album? Well, then.

"The last text I got from him was, 'I have a pool table with your name on it. Not actually. But you know what I mean.' And I said, 'Can you put my name on it? That would be much cooler.' And he said, 'If I lose, I'll spray paint Ed Sheeran on it.'"

Ed doesn't confine himself to house parties, though. Like that time he took over David Guetta's DJ booth with Macklemore.

"I flew with my Irish cousins to Vegas, and David Guetta was DJing," he began. "And he was kind of nearing the end of his set, and we all went in the booth and we plugged in Murray's [Ed's cousin and videographer] laptop. Started off with 'Regulate.' It was like loads of rich Arabs popping champagne and stuff, who want to hear EDM music, and we're standing -- it's me, all my Irish cousins, and Macklemore, who's completely sober, but he'll party harder than anyone. And we're just playing all this mad hip-hop stuff, standing on the thing, with a microphone rapping it.

"It was amazing, though. I had one of the best nights of my life," he finished.

Alright, dude. We get it. You have ridiculous nights out.

Sorry, that might have sounded bitter. I'm not bitter. Just a bit overwhelmed. I want to hear a lot more of these stories, so keep 'em coming.