And thus the Bieb’s Comedy Central Roast got underway!
The nearly four-hour affair taped Saturday night (March 14) at Sony Studios in Los Angeles, and featured skewering at the hands of merciless roasters who dubbed Justin “the King Joffrey of pop” and “the b-tch of the hour.”
Led by Roast master Hart, the dais included comedians Hannibal Buress, Chris D’Elia (Justin’s fave comic), Pete Davidson, Natasha Leggero, and roast veteran Jeff Ross. Also on the bill were Shaquille O’Neal, Martha Stewart (or the “evil white Oprah,” as Hart nicknamed her), Ludacris, and Snoop Dogg.
Almost nothing was off limits as the firing squad took turns taking shots at Bieber’s brushes with the law, neighborhood egging, monkey-sitting adventures, and underwear modeling. They also tackled his Canadian roots (Hart: “The man proves we’re protecting the wrong border”), controversial Anne Frank comments (Ross: “If she heard your music she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz”), and ex Selena Gomez (Ross: “Selena wanted to be here but she’s dating men now”).
An edited version of the show will air March 30 at 10 p.m. ET/PT. Until then, here’s a peek at what it was like inside and a preview of what you can expect to see.
The temperature was in the mid-90s in L.A., but all the men gamely got suited up for the black-tie affair. Justin showed up rocking a stylish purple ensemble.
There was a sh-t ton of food. This was the mouth-watering menu for the evening.
But the pop rock brownies and Twinkies were (obvi) the crowd favorite.
One of the biggest laughs of the night didn’t even involve a punchline — everyone just couldn’t help but crack up seeing Hart and Shaq standing next to each other.
There were not one, but two, Paul Walker jokes, which drew mixed reactions from the audience.
Snoop Dogg had no problem making himself at home onstage. He nonchalantly lit up a joint and sipped on red wine, admitting when he took the podium, “I don’t need a warmup! I’ve been smoking and drinking; I feel real good!”
As you probably guessed, there was a surprise roaster who crashed the set about halfway through (and no, it wasn’t Selena or Seth Rogen).
Kendall Jenner and Kourtney Kardashian sat together at a front table and gamely smiled at the few topical Bruce Jenner quips. Kendall also laughed along when Ross asked her, “What dating site did you (and Justin) meet on? OK Stupid?”
Martha Stewart turned out to be the dark horse spotlight-stealer of the night.
Ross called Hart “the best roast master” he’s ever seen, and it was easy to see why — he was constantly hyping the crowd up and keeping things light and energetic.
Shaq laughed at EVERYTHING, and was constantly seen wiping his eyes with a napkin from cry-laughing so hard.
Even if the whole night was just “an extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye,” as Buress hilariously suggested, Justin got the last laugh.