Hey Emilee Lindner and Christina Garibaldi? If those are even your REAL NAMES. You're taking Luke and Calum to the VMAs? That's cute for you. But I've got my heart, eyes and claws set on the best member of 5SOS, and that would obviously be Michael Clifford.

You'd better hope there's room for you guys in the limo VMA night, because our love's gonna take up a lot of space. Here's why the VMA performer and Artist To Watch and Best Lyric Video nominee is my date for the VMAs and my imaginary boyfriend.

He's got flawless hair.

See??

Those puppy dog eyes!

That t-shirt collection!

THAT FACE!

He's a pizza enthusiast. Which is great because I'm a carb enthusiast.

Who's also fully capable of staring into my soul, which is great because I require a lot of that.

He's so good at playing guitar that he doesn't even have to stand up to play.

And he's good at fighting crime.

And telling dad jokes.

He shares my views on household appliances.

And my love of cheese toasties.

He's super open with his feelings.

I mean...

And his life's gotten better since I came into it.

BRB, Watching "Amensia" acoustic forever.

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