Have we learned nothing about Ellen in unsuspecting shopping establishments?! The woman can’t be trusted if there’s a cart, random merch, and a high-profile partner in mischief-making involved — and this time the First Lady of the United States is the one getting silly with her in Aisle 5.

Michelle Obama’s time in the White House is coming to a close, and so Ellen thought it’d be a good idea to bring her to a local CVS to get her bearings on the civilian shopping front.

They confront the Coinstar machine (and make a chunk of change in the process) and peruse the selection of Halloween candy, but Ellen starts to get rowdy when she finds a back scratcher and goes after FLOTUS and a CVS employee with it. By the time she gets into the boxed wine and starts popping the tops off random bottles of liquor, that’s when Michelle says, straight-up, that Ellen is not a good person to shop with.

Thankfully, Michelle keeps Ellen from signing a baby’s forehead with permanent marker, and, you know, getting arrested for shoplifting and general silliness.