If there's one thing "Star Wars" is known for -- other than the lightsabers and the spaceships and the droids and just generally being the best ever -- it's the franchise's ability to take the teensiest, tiniest cameo or minor character and make them endlessly compelling, and then spin them off into comic books or regular books or even other movies (hello, rumored Boba Fett movie!)
And now that "The Force Awakens" is literally the most popular movie of all time, it's introduced us to a whole bunch of new characters we know almost nothing about -- but we definitely want intricately researched George R.R. Martin-style family trees for each one.
Case in point? The beloved meme of a Stormtrooper, TR-8R, who captivated audiences with his sick spins and his ability to yell "TRAITOR." This Thursday (January 7) StarWars.com joined in the fun with an official name and bio for the bit character: turns out he's FN-2199, AKA "Nines," a member of Finn's Stormtrooper unit in the First Order.
But he's not the only one with a cool name and a compelling screen presence -- there are plenty of people in the movie we want to become huge fan favorites, such as:
That Stormtrooper Who Dies And Gets His Blood All Over FinnLucasfilm
Poor dead stormtrooper, you died too soon. Who were you? Why didn't you get a cool meme name like TR-8R did? You should have one. Let's call you DE-4D.
But of course, like TR-8R he has a real name too: this is supposed to be FN-2003, a member of Finn's unit nicknamed "Slips" (because he always slips up and is terrible at stormtrooping). In the "Before The Awakening" prequel novel, Finn feels obligated to protect Slips despite the fact that he is ordered not to by his superiors, so his death would certainly pack a huge punch. But who is he beyond that? How did he become a member of the First Order? These are questions we want answered, Lucasfilm.
This Guy Who Tries To Steal BB-8Lucasfilm
Rey calls him "Teedo," but "Teedo" is actually the name of his species, not his individual given name (so that's kinda like running up to someone and yelling "HEY HUMAN," which... would probably happen in "Star Wars," actually). So what's he got going on, specifically? Maybe he just wanted a friend!
You know that awesome-looking lady who told the First Order where BB-8 was and is 100% indirectly responsible for blowing up Maz Kanata's bar? She's a mercenary with her own short story tie-in, where she delivers a package (probably Darth Vader's head, according to one prevalent theory) from Endor to Kylo Ren. Let's get her a cartoon series of her very own, or something.
Also, The Alien Bazine Netal Is Sitting On (Yes It's The Same Picture)Lucasfilm
Who is that guy? What's his deal? What species is he? What's Bazine trying to steal from him and/or manipulate him into doing? These are the mysteries the EU must now solve for us.
She's played by Carrie Fisher's real life daughter, Billie Lourd, but who is she? Also, she's totally wearing those hair buns because General Leia is her hero, right? Please say yes.
PZ-C40Lucasfilm Press/Phil Noto
If you read the "Star Wars" prequel book "Moving Target" -- or if you just noticed the giant blue droid with the awesome neck in "TFA" -- then you know that Peazy is tight with General Leia Organa. She's also a female-identified droid, canonically, so take that, gender-based BB-8 rumors! We've got a female droid even if you are a dude, but also gender is a social construct and you're all genderless beings! Anyway, we'd definitely like to get to know Peazy more either way.
They're probably dead from the giant tentacle ball monsters in Han Solo's ship, but they seemed like good people. Well, good gang members.
The Guavian Death GangLucasfilm Press
So were these guys! Look at their cool helmets! And did you hear that one dude's Scottish accent? Clearly they need their own spin-off movie.
Jessika "Testor" PavaLucasfilm
She's the first on-screen female rebel pilot in all of "Star Wars," and we need to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. She appears a bit in "Moving Target," but definitely not enough.
Right before Hosnian Prime and the New Republic got blown the heck up by the Death Star, there was that shot of a bunch of people looking on worriedly as they faced their imminent death. One of them was Korr Sella, who -- as we learn in the novel adaptation of the movie -- was a member of the Resistance sent there by General Leia. Poor girl had literally three seconds of screentime before her death, and she clearly deserves better.
Constable ZuvioLucasfilm Press
Have you ever heard a more beautiful, "Star Wars"-y name than Snap Wexley? Just sound it out loud. Snap Wexley. He appears as a 15 year old in "Aftermath," the "Star Wars" story by Chuck Wendig, but we could see him carrying on a bunch of his own adventures.
Baba JoeJesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney
He had maybe three seconds of screen time on Jakku, but before that he was the star of a J.J. Abrams-hosted Unicef video and the "Star Wars" panel at Comic-Con in 2015. He is a mystery that we want to solve. How does he even work? Who is he? Reveal your secrets, Baba!
Yeah, I know, there's a bunch of merch of her and she's got a cool name that everyone knows, but what did she really get to do in the movie? Nothing, that's what. In 2017 I would like copious amounts of backstory for this cruel and beautiful asymmetrical powerhouse of badassery, please.