MTV’s newest resident sex and relationship guru Dan Savage is trekking across the country to enlighten America's coeds and help them better understand the sexual culture that exists today. But what happens once Dan offers his pearls of wisdom to the eager undergrad? We usually don't get to see the students put his advice into practice, but luckily our own MTV family members can show us all how it's done. This week's advice in action: Do have that "Awkward" talk about expectations.
For the season finale of "Savage U," our sexperts decided to go BIG before going home. And there was no better place to go big than in the great state of Texas, where everything is supposedly...bigger. On their final campus visit, Dan and Lauren braved the tumbleweeds to help students at Texas Tech University, and during their time there, the pair encountered a fair share of real boot-wearing cowboys and learned about the infamous Raider Rash—a mythic STI that "spreads" as a result of the student body's vigorous sexual appetite.
Toward the end of his stay, Professor Savage met with Blake, a Southern gentleman who had been dating a (gasp!) virgin. Right from the start, his girlfriend was upfront about wanting to wait for the right guy to come along and sweep her off her feet (and into bed), and Blake was respectful of her decision to move slow. But after they’d been together for a while, she admitted that she wasn’t just waiting for a nice guy to swipe her V-Card, but rather a husband. Blake was left feeling like he'd been strung along, and subsequently, feeling guilty for putting sex so high on his list of relationship priorities. Check out the clip:
We get why Blake felt like the bad guy in this situation, but as Dan reassured him, he had been honest with this girl from the get-go, and it was unfair of her to make him feel like a jackhole for wanting to get lucky every so often. The relationship had been built on a set of conflicting expectations, which isn't so uncommon for young adults. Take MTV’s "Awkward," for instance. The show's heroine, Jenna, has very different relationships with both of her studly suitors: a secret but very sex-filled fling with jock Matty, and a slower-moving friendship-turned-romance with nice guy Jake. Regardless of which pairing you root for, you've got to give both guys points for honesty. Matty originally told Jenna that he didn’t want to date her (and that, oye, no one could know about their dalliances), and when Jake finally got together with Jenna, he made his intentions clear: He wanted the boyfriend-girlfriend thing, and was in it for the long haul. Take a look:
Take-home lesson? It’s important to be direct with your partner about what you want from them. When it comes to outlining expectations, a good rule of thumb is "the earlier, the better." Sex is great, but it's even better when both people are on the same page.
We've learned a lot from Dan and Lauren over the span of the "Savage U" season. We laughed, we cried and we definitely blushed at many an unforgettable moment. Make sure to keep the open, honest conversations going, and consider tweeting @fakedansavage (contrary to the Twitter handle, it's really him) when you run into a sex or relationship quandary!
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