In honor of Selena Gomez’s 22nd birthday, I decided to rewind the clock back to her Disney Channel days, when she was perhaps better known as fictional witch-in-training Alex Russo on “Wizards Of Waverly Place.”
Before you go off and celebrate the “Slow Down” singer’s big day appropriately — i.e., blasting “Birthday” on repeat until the clock strikes midnight because #JazzItUp — why don’t you check out all of the thoughts and epiphanies that dawned on me during this TBQH revelatory viewing experience. Here are my findings.
1.) Since Selena’s character’s older brother’s name is Justin, there are some… interesting lines of dialogue in hindsight.
2.) Magic, eh? Maybe that’s how she’s making those stars dance.
3.) Wait, was this slasher movie they get sucked into supposed to be scary? Hello, Selena’s only tangled with James Franco’s best RiFF RAFF impression and survived.
4.) Did the dad just inadvertently quote Britney Spears? Oh my god, the dad just inadvertently quoted Britney Spears.
6.) “Chandelier” is a really good song. Iiiiiiiiiii’m goh-naaah sweeeeeeeng frohm thah…
7.) Remember when Sel’s character meets T.J., the young wizard with no rules or magical boundaries?
Kinda reminds you of someone, right? Unrelated, here’s a scene where Alex wears a purple hoodie.
8.) Compared to magic carpets, Segways aren’t that weird.
9.) This exchange reminded me of Selena’s reasoning for checking herself into treatment earlier this year.
“After many years of putting my work first, I need to spend some time on myself in order to be the best person I can be.” Good for you, Selena.
10.) I’m sure this symbolizes… Something.
11.) And this.
12.) This, too.
13.) But above all, much like the theme song, “everything is not what it seems” when it comes to Selena.