SUNRISE, Florida — Having flown down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, from New York, my look for Lady Gaga’s artRave: The ARTPOP Ball Tour wasn’t so much a look, as an excuse to shed about 34 percent of my clothing.
That’s why I was so impressed with the elaborate costumes that so many of the Little Monsters in attendance wore. Leather? Orbital headpieces? All that makeup? The fans featured below didn’t just pick up some tour merch and call it a day.
If I tried to recreate ANY of these lewks, I’d be drowning in my own sweat, which, according to all fashion magazines ever probably, is not a good look. So, here, gold stars for all!
1.) Emily, 2.) Holden Rubber, 3.) Zack/Lisa Limbaugh, 4.) Bradley & 5.) Wesley
Also known as the Haus of Piss. See those strands of raver bracelets and necklaces they’re wearing? There are so many amazingly filthy words hidden in them, spelled out in letter beads.
Like some of these other fans, I literally had to fight my way through a swarm of people asking to take Matthew’s picture. “You know I’m not her,” he quipped to another would-be photographer.
7.) Jeremy & 8.) Kali
When I asked these mermaids where they were from, Kali said something about the Orlando area. Hmmm, something seemed fishy to me. “Just swam in for the day?” I joked, testing the waters. Jeremy neither confirmed nor denied.
Finally, they revealed the truth: “Yes, we are mermaids.” MTV NEWS EXCLUSIVE, U GUISE. Mermaids are real. BRB, snatching all the Pulitzers.
9.) Josef, 10.) Nicholas, 11.) David & 12.) Adam
When I asked how long they’d all spent assembling their ensembles, Adam on the far left shared that: “Oh, it’s just something that I threw together.” Literally, life goals.
13.) Ashleigh & 14.) Carly
I was on my way into the venue, when I saw a flash of sparkly silver drive by. My thirsty car-chasing seemed to amuse Ashleigh, who noted: “Well, I didn’t get dressed up for nothing.”
15.) Cory & 16.) Jonas
Some casual wig-snatching and questionably legal peacock-hunting? It’s all in a day’s lewk.
17.) This feather
A casualty of Jonas’ elaborate, black-feather headpiece that I spotted about ten feet behind him. Oh my god, you don’t think. … This little guy never made it to the artRave! Let’s have a moment of silence.