@ladygaganownet, https://twitter.com/LadyGagaNowNet/statuses/462700744932884480

The Most Insane Lady Gaga Tour Merch Money Can Buy

Raver pacifiers! Seashell bikinis! Scope the best artRave: The ARTPOP Ball Tour merch

SUNRISE, Florida — Look, I know that Lady Gaga‘s artRave: The ARTPOP Ball Tour is all about the music (slash topless moments) and not the bling. But, I feel like LED-enabled beachwear for goddesses and Gaga’s take on the “YAAAS GAGA!” meme kinda get a pass, no?

In case you’re at all likeminded, I cataloged all of my favorite findings from the “G.U.Y.” singer’s merch table below for your perusal. There weren’t any bejeweled vials of batpig tears, but it’s OK. I’ll just go sit in the corner and grumble because IT’S NOT FAIR GROMBLE GROMBLE GROMBLE.

For $20, you can grab some brightly colored, blinking cyberlox. They’ve got a slight wave for that “Just at the beach” feel.

John Walker, MTV

These angel-wing bunny ears are also $20, and the flashing pacifiers are $10. That’s market price, right?

John Walker, MTV

Got $35? Pick up this light-up Aphrodite lady seashell bikini because #daylook.

John Walker, MTV

How about a soothing poster of Gaga watching over your bed? $20.

John Walker, MTV

Would you rather: Own this “YAAASS” shirt or this “SLAY” shirt? Either way, that’ll be $40. Though, you could just go topless

John Walker, MTV

Oh, and taking a DGAF selfie in front of some picketing homophobes? Priceless.

John Wlker

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.