Literally No One Can Wear Pantone’s Color Of The Year

LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 29: iHEARTRADIO MUSIC AWARDS -- Pictured: Recording artist Rihanna performs onstage at the iHeartRadio Music Awards held at the Shrine Auditorium on March 29, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. -- (Photo by Christopher Polk/NBC/NBC via Getty Images)

By Liz Raiss

December 8, 2016 / 1:31 PM

Pantone has just announced its color of the year, and it’s quite a departure from last year’s aesthetically pleasing (and “Hotline Bling” pandering) Rose Quartz and Serenity. This year it’s Greenery, officially known by its ID 15-0343, and, long story short, it’s green. Like, really green. Abrasive, more-yellow-than-blue green.

The choice is one that prioritizes politics over eyeshadow palettes: Leatrice Eiseman, Pantone Color Institute’s executive director, said in a statement to Time that Pantone “know[s] what kind of world we are living in: one that is very stressful and very tense. This is the color of hopefulness.”

These are stressful times, yes, but Leatrice and I will have to disagree on the hopeful nature of the hue. I tend to associate “Greenery” with scorched retinas and Dark Kermit or Pepe the Frog memes. Greenery is also a large middle finger to industry collabs pegged to the color of the year (they had a positive field day with last year’s — a Guardian fashion op-ed declared the choices “just right” while InStyle guided its readers on the best ways to incorporate the colors into their wardrobes).

While Pantone has flirted with green before (2003’s Aqua Sky, 2005’s Blue Turquoise, 2010’s Turquoise, and 2013’s Emerald, for example), they’ve always stuck to the bluer side of the spectrum. Greenery’s lemon-lime base reminds us less of sparkling seas and more of bad dorm room decor. It has no associated emotional reaction, like red’s passion or yellow’s calm — presumably because no scientist has wanted to look at it long enough to draw those kinds of conclusions. It’s difficult to stare at for extended periods of time, and it makes any skin color look implausibly wan, which are both death knells for sartorial applications.

kermithood

Greenery is so unflattering that even your fave can’t pull it off. This is a scientific fact. We tried desperately to find a way to make Greenery work, but, ultimately, could only find the exception of Rihanna channeling Lil’ Kim (who, for the record, could absolutely pull off the shade) at the iHeartRadio awards.

Here’s the proof. Scroll through and say a little prayer for Sephora’s inevitable glittery green lipstick collection while you do it.

Rihanna