Zayn Malik’s first book comes out November 1, but he’s shared a sneak peek a few weeks early.

The One Direction expat published a paragraph from his forthcoming memoir Zayn on NME Thursday (October 13). In it, he writes about how “Pillowtalk” was a turning point for him creatively — because he finally got to sing about sex.

“Every lyric I’ve ever written has a story behind it,” Zayn wrote. “All the hard work that went into the creation of ‘Pillowtalk’ was worthwhile because, as soon as it was finished, I intuitively felt I was on the right path. It was a sick cut, nailing the exact sound I wanted to capture in my music. I was also able to sing about a subject that I hadn’t really been able to go near while I was in One Direction: sex.”

It sounds like growing a beard wasn’t the only point of contention between Zayn and his former band. He also wanted to write songs about doin’ it — and 1D’s image was just too wholesome for that sort of thing.