American Horror Story has pulled off some truly crazy feats in seasons past — demon babies, alien abductions, horny minotaurs, murder clowns, vampire torture porn, and so on — but none have burned a hole in our brain quite like Lady Gaga and Cuba Gooding Jr.'s sex scene in "Chapter 3" of American Horror Story: Roanoke.
Basically, Matt and Gaga's earthy empress had sweaty forest sex, and I will never be the same.
To make matters even more disturbing, Shelby (Paulson) saw everything — even the two hillbilly creepers who masturbated to the rhythmic sounds of Gaga's panting. Honestly, we probably could have gone our entire lives without having to imagine what sex between Gaga and Gooding Jr. would look like. Poor Shelby did not get that courtesy and instead had to douse her eyeballs (and her broken heart) in extra-strength bleach.
Afterward, Matt claimed to have no recollection of the encounter, but Shelby wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily. "I saw you with her, screwing her up against this tree." Uh-huh. You sure did, Shelby! Drag him. End him. Also, is having sex against a tree even comfortable? Fans were in similar states of distress:
Honestly, Tori, I have no idea what's happening, but I'm pretty sure he just impregnated her with his seed and now she's going to give birth to a human-demon baby hybrid. Why else would there be pigs everywhere?!