Well, at least we can cross him off our list of suspects.
On tonight's episode of Scream -- the very last before this season's long-awaited finale -- Mayor Maddox got a pitchfork to the stomach after being lured to the abandoned pig farm. But when the killer once again managed to escape, Sheriff Acosta arrested the only other people on the scene: Emma and Audrey, who'd gone into the barn, found Brooke's bleeding dad and picked up a pair of farm tools to defend themselves in case the killer was still on the scene.
Our thought bubble after they got cuffed: Man, this is some BS.
After all, the two are obviously innocent -- but are they TOTALLY innocent? Could one of them still have something to do with this season's massacre? Both Emma and Audrey -- along with many of Lakewood's finest -- seemingly can't be the killer: They've either come face-to-face with the madman or were accounted for when he struck. But does that really mean they're guiltless? Could one of them be working with the killer, meaning the murders are being carried out by a toxic team?
Audrey, for one, has sworn up and down that she didn't assist Piper in last season's slaughter-fest, insisting that she merely brought the psycho podcaster to Lakewood so they could work on a Brandon James documentary. But those letters she exchanged with Miss Shaw told a different story, spewing venom at Emma and calling her former BFF a "stupid, stuck-up bitch" who needed to be “taken down.” Brandon James documentary, Audrey? REALLY?
Meanwhile, Emma went away for therapy after her half-sister killed just about everyone and, since her return, has dealt with a serious case of PTSD. A slew of Facebook fans (we're watching you, Scream Team!) have suggested that Miss Duval's sightings of the killer were merely hallucinations; others have wondered if Emma developed a split personality and is, in fact, helping to carry out the murders and not even realizing it. And lest we forget, those emails that were supposedly sent by the dearly departed Riley did come from Emma's IP address...
So could Audrey or Emma really be guilty after all? Or is one of the other residents of Lakewood the killer? Keeping the aforementioned two in mind, here are our other top suspects -- check them out, then take our poll and cast your ballot for who you think is the slasher. Or, if you think a duo is carrying out the murders, vote for the mastermind and then head to social media to explain who you believe is their, um, better half -- and be sure to let us know if you noticed any other Season 2 clues. Then get ready: Next Tuesday, at 10/9c, the identity of this year's Scream killer WILL. BE. REVEALED.
We know what you're thinking: Noah was nearly killed, so he can't be the town maniac. But history (or, at least, the big screen's Scream and Scream 4) has shown that one-half of a murderous duo may willingly take a knife to deflect attention from himself. Now consider this: When Emma was menaced by the killer during the school's lockdown, Noah was the only student not in the Learning Center, as he'd snuck out with Kieran and was supposedly unable to regain entry. Need more? Let's go all the way back to this season's premiere, when Noah was on the phone with Audrey. As they made plans for Emma's "welcome home" party, he was fidgeting with -- wait for it -- a plastic toy pig. And do we even need to remind you of who else has an affinity for toy pigs?
Let's not beat around the bush: The sheriff's son has looked guilty AF from Day One. He owns a Brandon James mask, he somehow knew what Brooke had done to Mr. Branson, he's tall and strapping just like Haley's murderous beau and much more. But perhaps most tellingly, during a taped conversation with Miss Lang, Brooke’s new bae was heard discussing "art history." "Michelangelo needed subjects, so he robbed graves," Stavo said, prompting Miss Lang to ask, "So that's why you kept the bodies?" That was creepy right then and there -- but just one week later, the teacher's unanswered query took on new significance when we discovered that someone else enjoyed keeping bodies: This season's killer, who'd exhumed Piper's cadaver, kept it on ice and finally unveiled it in front of Emma and Audrey.
We dutifully hail Ms. Maddox as our queen but, truth be told, there are a few things that bother us: 1) She wasn't attacked by the killer once this season. 2) She was completely MIA when the gang crashed Haley's "Face the Mask" bash (and since when does Brooke miss a party?). 3) She proved she has a violent streak -- handcuffing Mr. Branson to a bed and then using a pair of scissors to cut him like a bitch isn't exactly normal. 4) As of this week, the killer's latest victim was Brooke's father -- the very man she holds responsible for the death of Jake. Hey, at least she'd look super-hot in an orange jumpsuit.
We once listed all the reasons Kieran's cousin is a shady MF, but since then, Eli has only grown more mistrustful: Apparently, a girl from his hometown had a restraining order against him for creeping into her bedroom. And who else is adept at sneaking into a woman's boudoir? The killer, that's who. But perhaps the most damning pieces of evidence against Eli were presented on tonight's episode, when Emma found an old newspaper clipping with a photo from Will's funeral (RIP, dude, that ish was BRUTAL). Standing in the background: Eli, who, at that time, had no reason to be in Lakewood. Later, Kieran searched his cousin's room and found all the letters Audrey had exchanged with Piper -- aka the ones the killer was using to taunt Ms. Jensen -- plus photos of Emma in her youth. Good luck, Eli -- you'll be very popular in prison.
The brooding hunk successfully stayed under our radar this season -- until that fateful night at the fairgrounds. Just after the killer chased Emma and then vanished, well, look at that -- Kieran randomly appeared out of thin air. And sure, he was supposedly captured by the madman, tied up and left in a funhouse at the carnival, but who's to say he didn't stage the entire scene to throw off suspicion? Meanwhile, all of tonight's evidence against Eli could have been planted to make him the fall guy -- and no one could plant evidence against Eli more easily than the dude who lives with him, aka Kieran. As for motive, well... the killer clearly has an issue with Audrey and, as of tonight, successfully framed her for murder. And Audrey is responsible for bringing Piper to Lakewood. And Piper did kill Kieran's father. Anyone else just get a chill?
All eyes are on her son, but could Aunt Tina have something to do with the Lakewood slashings? She came to town just as they began, then had shady dealings with Mayor Maddox (and we all know what happened to him). And tonight, she was suddenly ready to hightail it out of Lakewood, warning Eli, "If we stay, we risk them finding everything out about us." Looks like someone has secrets -- could any of them be deadly?
She suffered a nasty crack in the noggin, but could Miss Lang's injury have been a (slightly over the top) way to avoid suspicion? Because, frankly, there's plenty of suspicion: First off, Miss Lang was the one who locked Emma in that room just before the killer appeared. Second, when Sheriff Acosta began to suspect Miss Lang tonight, the
bitchpsych teacher totally threw Emma under the bus and practically insisted to Sheriff Acosta that Em's the killer. And third, Miss Lang became furious after being told that her current beau Mr. Branson was banging Brooke again -- and soon after, Mr. B's right hand was sawed off. The extra-special significance? Scream fan Charlotte Dumas -- yes, we need to give her full credit because this girl is ON FIRE -- noted that the Bible has a very specific viewpoint on infidelity. According to Matthew 5:30, "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away." So could Miss Lang be a jealous girlfriend who enjoys studying the Bible in her spare time (along with shopping for those damn blazers)? Could she be the one working with the Scream killer? Oh yeah, we almost forgot: Miss Lang was also childhood friends with Piper. 'Nuff said.
Miguel grew up in Lakewood, but he and his family fled town after the Brandon James massacre. So what brought the law enforcer back now? Was it really just the attraction of a job opening left by the dearly departed Sheriff Hudson and his even more dearly departed intestines? Or did Acosta have unfinished -- and bloody -- business in Lakewood? After all, the second murder spree didn't start until he arrived. Hmm...
Turns out, Maggie's one-time paramour -- and Piper's father -- may not have been killed by the cops after all. Flashbacks showed that a then-teenage Miguel Acosta and Maggie found a wounded Brandon in the woods, then dropped him off at the pig farm. Just last week, Mags refused to believe that Brandon could have survived his wounds, but Sheriff Acosta disagreed. "Piper was his daughter too," he said. "Maybe her death brought him out of the woodwork. Maybe he wants revenge."
Mr. Duval randomly arrived in Lakewood because, as he told Emma, "I finally thought I needed to be here for you." But after getting into a boozy brawl near the Crescent Palms, he hightailed it out of town -- and left his daughter -- yet again. Disappointing, but not surprising: As one of the lucky Lakewood teens who lived through the original Brandon James killing spree, Kevin Duval has more issues than Vogue. "Being a survivor is painful," he once told Emma. The question is, has his pain ever healed -- or has it manifested into something savage?
Why would anyone suspect dear, sweet, concerned, loving, supportive, level-headed Maggie? We'll tell you: Last season, the
idiotmedical examiner failed to mention that she'd had Brandon James' baby -- even when murders were being committed by someone who clearly had a connection to Brandon James. Now this season, with yet another killer on the loose, we've discovered that Emma's mom has also neglected to mention that the last time she saw Brandon, he was alive. And seriously, why would anyone keep all that information a secret? More importantly, if she's already concealed so much, what else does Maggie have to hide?