Defining The Relationship 2.0
Whether you’ve been dating for a few weeks or months, having a better understanding of where you and your partner stand when it comes to seeing other people and your physical relationship is a significant convo to have. While you may agonize about bringing this up, getting more comfortable with your partner is a good thing. It allows for trust, intimacy, and hopefully strengthening the bonds of the relationship.
That being said, neglecting to use a condom every time is not the comfort level you should be at. In this episode of “DTR 2.0” YouTube star Josh Leyva and sexologist Shannon Boodram talk “Defining the Relationship” and how that impacts your sex life.
Think about what “defining your relationship” means to you and bring up the discussion with your partner so you’re both on the same page when it comes to the terms you’re using and the expectations you both have.
Define the terms. “Seeing” someone might mean different things to different people. For one person, that could mean you’re exclusively dating one another, but to someone else, that could mean you’re just hooking up and having sex. If you’re “dating” one person, you might think that means your weekends are meant for each other and the other person isn’t looking to date someone else. “In a relationship” usually means you’re exclusively seeing one another, possibly calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend (or bae and boo), but without confirmation, there are a lot of uncertainties that can lead to confusion, hurt feelings and putting yourself at risk for STIs if you’re having unprotected sex. Used correctly, condoms prevent unintended pregnancies and STIs 98% of the time.
Discuss what “monogamy” means. According the Journal of Sexual Medicine, about 25 percent of couples that have agreed to monogamy are in fact not monogamous. (So yes, condoms can help protect you against @ssholes before they’ve revealed their cards.)
Use condoms to keep the sex fresh and hot. Even if you both trust one another and are exclusive, using a condom can help keep your horizontal life steamy. Change up the condoms for different feels (like ribbed and ultra thin) that can take your pleasure to the next level. Experiment with different types of condoms and lubricants. Some lubricants are warming, others enhance arousal, while certain varieties are best for in the shower. Yes, we said the shower. Start off dirty, then get a little clean, then get much dirtier, and help one another get clean afterwards.
