Jughead, we're not in Riverdale anymore — at least not the Riverdale we thought we knew.

The first official teaser-trailer for The CW's anticipated midseason drama Riverdale just dropped (over on EW), and the era of Hot Archie is upon us. Take the characters immortalized in the Archie Comics, add some much-needed sex appeal, courtesy of Gossip Girl, and a dash of mystique straight outta Twin Peaks, and you have Riverdale, a subversive and sexy take on Archie. In Riverdale, Archie Andrews (K.J. Apa) parades around town showing off his six-pack abs because this is The CW and hot shirtless young men are integral to the network's DNA. Not that we're complaining.

This first look at Riverdale has everything, including not one but two shots of shirtless Archie, Veronica in a little black swimsuit, a murder, a schoolyard brawl, cheerleaders, a teacher-student affair, and a duffle bag full of cash. Color us intrigued. The only thing it's missing is Cole Sprouse, the former Disney Channel actor who will be making his long-awaited return to television as Archie's former (gasp) best friend Jughead Jones. We see the side of his face at the 16-second mark, but we see nary a smolder from the 24-year-old, which is unacceptable. Oh, and where are our beloved Josie and the Pussycats?! HOW DARE YOU, RIVERDALE. Next time, show us the goods or show us nothing at all. (Just kidding. More shirtless Archie will do just fine.)

Riverdale premieres Thursday, January 26 at 9 p.m. ET on The CW.