"Pain don't hurt." That's something a supervillain would say, isn't it?

You know the story of "Road House," the greatest movie ever made: Dalton (Patrick Swayze), a professional bouncer with a PhD in philosophy, accepts the job of cleaning up the Double Deuce, a small-town honkytonk watering hole from hell. In the process, he gets to make sweet love to the town doc (Kelly Lynch) ... and runs afoul of the burg's self-appointed patriarch, the corrupt Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara). Tons of two-fisted homoeroticism ensues.

But what if the roles were reversed? What if Wesley was a kindly old man who was the toast of the town and Dalton was his live-wire son who liked to tear out people's throats and blow up barns and stuff?

The hard drinkers at Reel Bastards have made this alternate universe of "Road House" a reality with their harrowing mashup, "Dalton the Dickhead." Check it out below (and thanks to Film Drunk for the find), and remember — it's Dalton's way or the highway.