RECAP: Alexis Gets a Smaller Nose, Tamra Wants Smaller Boobs

When most people first take up a hobby, it's something relatively low-key and likely economical, such as gardening or guitar lessons or photography. But when rich people like Heather Dubrow need an outlet for their creativity, they decide to open a restaurant with their friends. Price tag: Up to $1 million.

Heather pushed forward with her plan to start a shi-shi restaurant with five of her closest friends last night on The Real Housewives of Orange County after taking a helicopter from O.C. to L.A. to visit two of them. (Because honestly, who has time to sit in a limo for two hour drive?) She invited Tamra Barney and Vicki Gunvalson along for the ride and to meet her other girlfriends -- people who all happen to get along and support each other, which was a totally foreign concept to the O.C. blondes.

Meanwhile, Vicki's daughter, Brianna, recovered from extensive surgery to remove her thyroid, and Alexis Bellino recovered from surgery to remove giant snot balls from her schnoz and throat, with a nose job on the side. Tamra had a meeting to set up her own surgery: The removal of her breast implants. (No, that is not a typo.) Last, Gretchen Rossi realized that she may not be prepared for her future performance with the Pussycat Dolls, but we think if she can live with Slade, she can probably handle just about anything.


--  As a stay-at-home mom to four children under the age of 7, Heather says doing that is so much harder than working. We only have one kid so far, and we wholeheartedly second that statement (+4)

-- Heather and her friends are planning to open a restaurant, even though Heather admits "I do prepare food, but I don't really cook." So basically their qualifications are that they are rich, and like to eat. Must be nice! (+4)

-- Heather's husband knows it will cost $650,000 to a million to get the restaurant up and running. "We can get investors," he said, "and if it fails after two years, oh well." Meanwhile, Heather sees the restaurant as a good creative outlet for her. Can you imagine having a million bucks to blow on what essentially amounts to a hobby on the side? Me neither (+4)

-- Takes a helicopter to L.A. to meet her friends, because limo rides are for poor people (+2)

-- She, her friends/business partners, plus Tamra and Vicki have lunch together and get a crash course on what it takes to open a successful restaurant: Blah blah blah, $$$, blah blah blah, $$$. At least she's prepared (+2)

Net gain/loss: +16

Current total:  119

VICKI (50)

-- Doctors remove Brianna's thyroid, which is covered in nodules to count, as well as her lymphnodes. Doctor tells Vicki he wouldn't be surprised to find cancer in the biopsy and to prepare for the worst (-5)

-- Brianna wants to recover in her own home, and the way Vicki is hovering over her, we can see why. Poor girl just wants to sleep and Vicki is arranging water bottles and protein drinks all over her bed, and, through her fawning, is presenting any sleep from happening at all. Brianna appreciates the effort (+3), but sums up the situation by saying, "I just want to tell her to get out. She's a little intense." God bless Vicki, but ... amen (-5)

-- When Vicki hangs with Heather and her friends, she doesn't really have many encouraging words about their restaurant venture. However, in this case, she's being totally realistic (+3)

-- Brooks calls Vicki in the middle of the girlfriend lunch and she leaves the table to take his call. We think it's a little bit rude (-1)... until she tells him she needs to have her "love tank filled up." Now we think she was doing the other women a huge favor by excusing herself(+3)

Net gain/loss: -2

Current total:  48


-- Alexis has her nose surgery, and the doctor pulls out her bloody septum, which is gross. Then he pulls out some disgusting, bloody dangly thing -- later identified as a mucus plug -- that looks like a small intestine. We feel bad she had to deal with all that being inside her, but we feel worse for ourselves that we had to see it come out (-5)

-- Then they broke Alexis' nose to fix her bump, which is also difficult to watch. That's right, it's all about us tonight (-2)

-- Post-op, Alexis is at home, in her big cushy bed, with a personal nurse by her side. Hubby Jim spoon feeds her chicken noodle soup. Meanwhile, Vicki's daughter, Brianna, had half her throat removed and doesn't want or need an entourage. Perspective (-3)

Net gain/loss: -10

Current total: 52


-- Gretchen goes to watch the Pussycat Dolls practice, which she refers to as a "world renowned music group." As a singer, Gretchen says she's trying to follow in footsteps of Fergie, Pink and Christina Aguilera. "I know I was meant to be on a stage and performing. I'm going to go for it." Please see: Kim Zolciak, LuAnn DeLesseps, Melissa Gorga. Good luck with that (-5)

-- Gretchen realizes that singing and dancing with the Pussycat Dolls might be a bit of a stretch for her, especially since she hasn't danced since she was a high school cheerleader (-3)

Net gain/loss: -8

Current total: 33

TAMRA  (59)

-- Tamra visits a surgeon to see about having her breast implants removed. She says, "I want to be more natural.... I no longer need my boobs for power. I am using my mind." She scores points simply for going against the flow of O.C. culture (+4)

-- She describes her current set of boobs as "heavy, hard to fit in clothes and bathing suits" and says "bras are a struggle." Wow, she may get kicked out of the big booby club for admitting to all that (-2)

Net gain/loss: +2

Current total: 61


Heather: 119

Tamra: 61

Alexis: 52

Vicki: 48

Gretchen: 33