Nothing -- included the law or social norms -- seems to stop Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi from doing what she wants. Not even a baby, as it turns out.
Today, MTV announced that season six of Jersey Shore is a go, and that the pregnant meatball will join the rest of the gang this summer in Seaside Heights, even though she'll be many months along in her pregnancy.
"While things will definitely be a little different this time when they hit the boardwalk, their trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same," said MTV's press department in a statement.
So, let's get this straight: Snooki won't be able to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, do the Jersey Turnpike, ride carnival rides, dry hump her roommates wearing a bunny costume (well, maybe she could still do that), or go to a tanning bed? What's the point?
We can't help but wonder what Snooki will do to keep herself all busy all summer since she (presumably) won't be exposing her vagina at the nightclub or arrested at the beach. More importantly, how will she keep viewers entertained?
Oh, she's probably got a few trick up her leopard-print sleeve. Here are our predictions:
1. Eating pickles. We already know how Snooki feels about pickles, but with a baby on board, MTV producers are gonna have to buy those things at Costco this summer.
2. Sleeping. Another of Snooki's favorite activities. But this time around, she'll have a more valid excuse to be doing it all day.
3. Cleaning up. At some point, Snooki might start nesting and when/if that happens, God help her because that poor girl will never finish tidying up that disgusting pit. If she plans to nest, she should begin on her second day in the house or she doesn't have a chance at keeping up.
4. Peeing in random places. Hey man, she did it with no shame when she had a bladder infection, so what's she gonna do when there's a baby pushing down on that bladder? That's right... they might as well just keep a roll of toilet paper on the deck.
5. Coming up with new lingo and catchphrases. Snooki could be seven to eight months along while the show is shooting over the summer. And while being pregnant is a magical, exciting time, the last few months can be completely miserable and filled with discomfort (ahem, we are 39 weeks along as we write this), especially during the middle of summer. We fully expect Snooki to come up with all sorts of ways to describe what she's going through... and finally, we will be laughing with her, not at her.
Good luck, little lady! You're gonna need it.