Last season on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the world watched as Cynthia Bailey's wedding almost went down in burning flames. Much to the amazement of her family and most of her friends, the couple made it a year without heading to divorce court, so they threw a lavish, back-tie party to celebrate one year of matrimony.

Clearly, they felt they had something to prove, because don't most people just go out to dinner and take a romantic weekend away or something?

Anyhoo, the soiree offered more opportunity for them to argue and spend money they don't have, and for Peter and Cynthia's sister, Mal, to compete for Cynthia's loyalty. Let's just say that Mal got flattened like a pancake, in private and in public.

In other housewife events, Sheree Whitfield stirred up additional trouble between friends; NeNe Leakes tried to figure out what to do about her irresponsible, jailbird son; Kim Zolciak considered firing her increasingly lazy assistant; and Marlo Hampton showed off her newest sugar daddy boyfriend.

Can we interest anyone in a champagne toast?

CYNTHIA (31)

-- Peter talks to Cynthia about their one-year anniversary party, telling her they're about 20 percent over their $10,000 budget. We never realized when the traditional first anniversary gift of 'paper' meant spending stacks of it you don't have (-3)

-- Peter tells Cynthia her sister, Mal,isn't allowed to ride to the party with them in the limo. Or, in his words, "Let her ass get there another way." Ahhhh, family. It just warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it? (-2)

-- Mal comes over to visit Cynthia, and Cynthia tells her that Peter won't allow her to ride with them to the party. Mal says Peter is an "a**hole." (-4)

-- The Bentley limo they've hired never arrives to pick them up, so they have to drive themselves. Oh, the indignity of it all! (-2)

-- Cynthia's hair is all kinds of lacquered-up crazy at the party (-4)

-- Cynthia's mother and sister can't believe Cynthia and Peter made it to their one-year anniversary. She is insulted they'd say that, but frankly, we're also a bit surprised (+3)

-- When Cynthia finally makes her grand entrance to the party, Peter whistles -- the kind that I use to call in my dogs, where you stick two fingers in your mouth -- to get everyone's attention. Totally unnecessary: That monstrosity atop her noggin screamed louder than anything Peter could put out (-5)

-- When Peter seizes the mic to make an announcement and a toast, he takes several digs at Mallory in front of the whole party. If I were Cynthia, I would have been pissed, but she just rolled with it (-4)

-- When Mal is upset afterward (not because of what he said, but just because of his general assheadedness), Cynthia tells her to get over it and quit disrespecting Peter, but um, she wasn't the one with the microphone, soooooo, we're not really sure what's going on there (-3)

Net/gain loss: -22

Current total: 9

KIM (129)

-- With the help of her dad and daughter, and the occasional appearance of her assistant, Sweetie, Kim is still unpacking boxes at her new house. Hats off to her... we moved into our place more than two years ago and have yet to get to some of the boxes in our basement (+3)

-- Kim has been arguing a lot with Sweetie, who has been her assistant for 12 years. Recently, Sweetie swore at Kim's 14-year-old daughter and constantly sneaks off to smoke ciggies by the pool when she's supposed to be working. Kim needs to ask herself WWDTD: What would Donald Trump do? (-3)

-- Everyone tells Kim they would have fired Sweetie already, but Kim admits she has kept her on because she's loyal. We get that -- Sweetie might be one of the only people who could reveal what Kim actually looks like when she's not sporting her wigs (-2)

-- Kim doesn't go to Cynthia's party because she's still upset about the whole orphanage discussion the women had in Africa. Hey, man, Kim doesn't need this show anyway... she's destined for her own spin-off, right? (+4)

Net/gain loss: +2

Current total: 131

SHEREE (23)

-- Sheree brings Lawrence to the party as her date. On the way there, Sheree tells openly gay Lawrence that Marlo (who is supposed to be Lawrence's friend) that Marlo used a slur for gays during their trip to Africa (-3)

-- After Marlo completely denies it, Sheree turns to Kandi (who she just threw under the bus with Kim) to confirm her story. Kandi doesn't want to get in the middle, but they eventually pry the truth out of her (+2)

Net/gain loss: -1

Current total: 22

KANDI (88)

-- Kandi arrives at the party wearing a little sequined hottie dress. The ladies ask if she came alone; she says yes, to which Cynthia responds "You ain't gonna be leaving here alone." (+2)

-- After Sheree does some more tattling about what went down on the trip, Kandi is put in the awkward position of having to get Marlo in trouble with Lawrence, by confirming that she dropped an f-bomb (a derogatory slur, not the one that people seem to say 50 times per episode on reality TV) (-3)

Net/gain loss: -1

Current total: 87

PHAEDRA (73)

-- Pheadra learns the basics of embalming and preparing a corpse for the funeral. Luckily, it's on a dummy, so we don't all have to be creeped out (+3)

-- Phaedra treats the process kind of like an art project: "The funeral arts allows you to express yourself.. ..It is a canvas and I am a painter." Guess that's the kind of attitude you've got to have if you're gonna work on dead folks for a living (+2)

Net/gain loss: +5

Current total: 78

NENE (26)

-- NeNe has a powwow with her estranged husband, Gregg, about her recently-arrested, troublemaking son, Bryson. Gregg -- who has a calmer spirit than NeNe -- tries to talk to him, but Bryson doesn't seem to be all that concerned (-3)

-- In the end, it looks like NeNe wants to (and needs to) kick him out of the house and let him figure out how to support himself. Easier said than done, for sure (-5)

-- NeNe shows up at Cynthia's party and busts through a circle of men to talk to Peter. She proceeds to hold court and shamelessly flirt with them all. Now, there's the bold NeNe we know and love! (+3)

Net/gain loss: -5

Current total: 21

MARLO (18)

-- Arrives at Cynthia's party with a new, older dude in tow. Apparently, within a week, she replaced her old beau, Charles, with this dude. Something gives us the feeling Marlo has a Rolodex full of back-up plans... (+2)

-- When Sheree and Lawrence confront her about using a slur, she not only denies it, she acts as though they are totally nuts for suggesting it. Since Bravo replayed that scene about 15 times, we all know she's lying (-3)

-- But I'll be damned if she's not a GREAT liar (+2)

Net/gain loss: +1

Current total: 19

SCORECARD:

Kim: 131

Kandi: 87

Phaedra: 78

Sheree: 22

NeNe: 21

Marlo: 17

Cynthia: 9