The Verdict: Wolverine Spins Off Deadpool and Christina Aguilera Plays a Stripper

Surprise Surprise, Here Comes the Deadpool Spinoff! Greaat

I thought Ryan Reynolds's smug turn as Wade Wilson, the mercenary who becomes Deadpool, was one of the more annoying parts of Wolverine (though it was kind that they finally shut him up). And a whole movie about him? Thank you sir, but no. But apparently Fox is gambling that most people disagree, because it's already in development.

Verdict: I get it, he was supposed to be annoying, but it was still torture. Two hours of it? I'll pass. And I usually like him, even in that Three Pizza Huts and a Donkey show. Oh well, things could be worse. At least it's not a Gambit movie.

Christina AguileraLiked the "Lady Marmalade" Video? Then You're Going to Love This

Mickey Mouse Club vet Christina Aguilera is going back to acting, as a ... let's just look at what Variety has to say: "Aguilera will play an ambitious smalltown girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club that appears to be right out of Bob Fosse's Cabaret." Wow. How original. (As an aside, why do they always have to be small-town girls, anyway? What's wrong with big towns? How about medium-sized towns? What the hell did Harrisburg, PA ever do to anybody?)

Verdict: What a shame. I always liked the fact that Christina didn't spin her pop fame into a movie career, it was kind of original. I also admired her drrrty phase; celebrities don't rub Vaseline in their hair and sleep in the dump often enough. I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say this will be awful. Like, Crossroads awful.

Mickey RourkeMickey Rourke's Comeback Temporarily on Hold

The Wrestler aside (and it truly is awesome), the touch of gold's not back yet. The Informers, adapted from a Bret Easton Ellis story collection, starred Rourke as an ex-con and raked in a whopping $300,000 at the box office in its debut weekend. It also stared Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger, Winona Ryder, Chris Isaak, and Brad Renfro. And it made $300,000.

Verdict: Duuude. I'm not a box office hawk, a terrible movie's a terrible movie even if it makes a hundred million dollars, and good ones make less than the crap all the time. But that's bad.

Dom DeLuiseDom DeLuise Dies

First Maude and now Captain Chaos. DeLuise acted on Broadway and in dozens of TV shows and movies, but is probably best known as Burt Reynolds's sidekick/punching bag in movies like The Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit II, and from his string of Mel Brooks films, from Blazing Saddles to Robin Hood: Men in Tights. But he was also a renowned chef, and wrote two cookbooks (and seven children's books) in his second career. He died Monday at 75 of cancer.

Verdict: Life's after-party just got a little bit funnier. Here he is on The Dean Martin Show as the world's worst magician, Dominick the Great. OK, next week no schmaltz, I promise. Don Rickles, please don't die!