Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe is the guest judge on Project Runway next week, which is as good an excuse as any to discuss her upcoming reality show, The Rachel Zoe Project (premieres Sept. 9 on Bravo). The glut of celebrity guests on Project Runway this season is bordering on offensive, but at least Zoe is qualified to judge a runway competition. Unlike Brooke Shields, who hasn't been a "fashion icon" since the 1980s but has a show to promote on sister channel NBC, and Apolo Anton Ohno, whose sole purpose for appearing was to remind everyone to watch the Olympics.
Anyway. I've never been a big fan of Rachel Zoe, who famously parted ways with former client Nicole Richie after being accused of making over celebrities into super-skinny, giant-sunglasses-wearing mini-clones of herself. But after watching a preview of The Rachel Zoe Project, I am totally buying what she is selling. I'm actually wearing giant sunglasses and not eating as I write this.
How do you not love someone who starts conversations with designer Michael Kors like this: "OK, first of all, die. Die. What color is this, like a gold-y nude champagne?" I would put this into context for you, but that's really how she talks, all the time: "This makes me die. Just throw me in my coffin now with these earrings on." Or: "That's bananas amazing." Or: "Is that ridiculous expensive?" I smell a catchphrase in the making. "Make it work" is sooo last season.
Speaking of last season, The Bachelorette finalist Jason Mesnick's 15 minutes are officially over. A meet-and-greet event in his hometown of Seattle was cancelled last week due to low ticket sales. Apparently, all those hundreds of female fans who e-mailed me asking for his number balked at paying $125 for an evening in his presence. Then again, doesn't he know that a gentleman always pays for the first date?
In the season finale, Tori and Dean throw a housewarming party in a new house they can't afford, and bring home a new baby, which, frankly, they can't really afford, either. Let's be honest: Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for Tori to pull out of the 90210 spinoff over salary disputes.
The designers are tasked with outfitting a "professional woman" like the character Brooke Shields plays on her NBC show, Lipstick Jungle. (Synergy alert!) So what's going to happen next season when Project Runway moves to Lifetime? Who will the guest judges be, Valerie Bertinelli and Meredith Baxter? Lifetime Movie Queen Tori Spelling would be a big get, but she technically belongs to Oxygen now. Then again, I hear Tori might be looking for work. (9 p.m. Wednesdays, Bravo)
Kathy gets ready to perform at an army hospital and wonders how to entertain men and women who have lost limbs during combat. "What do you think, if I brought my Emmy, and then if they wanted to take pictures holding the Emmy, they could. Do you think that's obnoxious or fun?" Funny, I've been asking myself that same question about Kathy's show this entire season.
Jo goes on a date with a long-haired artist who thinks it's fun to use his hair as a human paintbrush. "I didn't feel like I really got to know him at all, or that he got to know me. And that's really important to me, to have a guy that's not self-absorbed, but actually is interested in what I'm all about." In other words, Jo only likes to date men who share similar interests -- in herself. (9 p.m. Mondays, Bravo)
Pam temporarily moves in with ex-husband Tommy Lee while her house is being remodeled, then yells at him for letting the kids watch Superbad. Um, as far as R-rated videos go, I'm going to say Superbad is not the worst thing those kids could be watching. At least doesn't star, oh, their mom. (10 p.m. Sundays, E!)
Ashley turns down a lucrative job offer to be creative director of a large swimwear company despite being broke and having zero business sense. No worries, Ash, I'm sure your foolproof plan to light a money candle will work out just fine: "This candle is for instant money." (11 a.m. Saturdays, TLC)