Celebrity Apprentice: Selling Hot Dogs

The seventh season of The Apprentice began this week and instead of "normal" businessmen and women competing for an apprenticeship with Donald Trump, we're treated with celebrities. Fourteen different celebrities and fourteen huge egos striving to outshine each other to raise money for the charity of their choice. This could be a fun season!

The premiere began with introductions of the celebrities that included a quick (and I do mean quick!) blurb about why they're famous. The participants in Celebrity Apprentice are: Lennox Lewis, Tiffany Fallon, Tito Ortiz, Marilu Henner, Trace Adkins, Piers Morgan, Gene Simmons, Jennie Finch, Stephen Baldwin, Nely Galan, Carol Alt, Vincent Pastore, Nadia Comaneci, and Omarosa. If you were like me and don't recognize all of the names, head on over to the show's website for their bios.

Assembled at the New York Mercantile Stock Exchange, the celebs met up with Donald for the first time where they were told that the teams this season are going to be males and females. Their first task would be to head back to Trump Tower and choose their team name and choose their first project manager. Omarosa, never one to miss a chance at butt-kissing, immediately offered herself up for the PM role. Donald was quick to shoot her down though by telling her that it wasn't his decision -- it was her team's decision.

Back at their digs in the Tower, Omarosa wanted to get down to business with her team but had to wait for Nely to hand out what she called props (and what we would call hats) to the rest of the girls. When discussing their team name, it was hilarious when Omarosa suggested they use her name. Team Omarosa? Seriously, how big is her head? Nely later suggested "Empresario" and everybody loved it. Folks, meet Team Empresario.

The guys, meanwhile, were trying to come up with their own name. Gene suggested "Hydra" because it was the name of a bad ass creature from Greek mythology. And there we have it, Team Hydra. Now that they have their names, it's time to decide who will be the PM. Omarosa offered herself up again and the girls said it would be a good idea so Omarosa did indeed manage to get her way.

Meeting up in the boardroom with Donald, Ivanka, and mini-Donald (Donald's son), they told them who their Project Managers were: Omarosa and Stephen. They also received their first task. The teams would be selling hot dogs from a stand on the streets of New York City. The team that makes the most money wins while the losing team will have a celebrity fired.

Carol, the only New Yorker in Empresario, picks a location by Penn Station and a subway to sell. Hydra decides on Rockefeller Center. (I'm not even from NYC and I could tell you that Rockefeller Center is a better location than Penn Station!) Omarosa doesn't think they should use their celebrity status in the task and should instead focus on skill. Team Hydra though begins using their celebrity right out of the gate. Gene Simmons gets on his phone and begins calling up friends asking them to show up and buy a hot dog for $5,000 the next day.

Now at their locations and ready to sell, the girls are dressed in a sort of uniform consisting of ripped white t-shirts, blue jeans, and a red ball cap with their name embroidered on it. They get to work selling dogs for $5 before smartening up and try selling them for hundreds of dollars more. On the men's team, Piers is turning down "customers" who are only offering up the small bucks. I thought it was the smart thing to do but he had quite the attitude when turning them down. Some would even call it rude!

With time running out for both teams, Omarosa tried to get Tiffany to really do something. Seriously, Tiffany completed sucked at selling. Standing meekly on the sidewalk and just saying (not yelling) that hot dogs are for sale does not a good seller make. It caused Omarosa to even say, "For somebody that's selling ass in magazines she sure couldn't sell a hot dog to save her life." Marilu finally listened to her gut and called some people she knew who showed up and bought two waters for $5,000 each and a hot dog for $1,000. Jennie called one of her friends David Wright, third baseman for the New York Mets, who showed up and bought the cart out. It's about damned time!

Over at Team Hydra, Jenna Jameson showed up to support her boyfriend (Tito Ortiz) and paid $200 for a dog. (Damn girl, only $200?) Finally, Gene's friends began rolling in and buying hot dogs for $5,000 and $10,000 a pop. Hmph, I wonder who did better.

In the boardroom, and after a pre-nup joke from Donald to Tito (with Gene laughing), it was time to find out how much money the teams made. Team Empresario sold $17,038.79. Team Hydra sold $52,286. The girls looked shocked that the guys made so much and Omarosa mockingly conceded defeat. Haha! The Donald thought the men had a better location and used their celebrity better than the women did. After the little skirmish between Piers and Omarosa on the correct pronunciation of her name and whether or not she is a "true" celebrity, Donald announced that the total money raised ($69,324) would all go to the winning Project Manager's charity. Stephen's charity is one that his mother started: the Carol M. Baldwin Breast Cancer Research Fund.

It was then time for the men to leave the boardroom and the women to fight it out between themselves. Luckily for the men, they could watch the cat action back in their pad on a giant LCD TV. They watched Omarosa give kudos to Marilu (for using her contacts) and Nely (for keeping them on task). They watched Oma throw Tiffany to the Trump trio for being able to sell herself in Playboy but not on the street. (Sorry Tiffany, but it's true.)

After we listened to Gene comparing Omarosa to a cockroach, Donald asked Tiffany why she didn't call Hugh Hefner, her biggest contact, and use him as a huge sale. Tiffany said they'd decided as a team that they would use him on a later task. Somebody didn't tell Omarosa that though because she told Tiffany there may not be anymore tasks in her future. The Trumps nodded in agreement. After some banter about the horrible uniforms and bad location (Carol's fault), Donald asked Omarosa to pick two people (along with herself) to return to the boardroom for the possibility of firing. She chose Carol and Tiffany. Unfortunately for the guys, their video feed was purposely cut after that point so they wouldn't find out who was fired until the two women standing returned.

Donald asked each of the three women why they should stay. Omarosa said that she stepped up in the task and takes accountability for what went wrong. Carol said that she thought she stepped up also but that ultimately Omarosa was the leader. When it came to be Tiffany's turn, Donald told her she looked scared. Tiffany said she wasn't (yes she was) and that everybody worked hard. She also maintained that it was a group decision for her to not call Hugh Hefner. Donald asked Omarosa who she would fire and she told him Carol. Mr. Trump said he was disappointed in Omarosa as a captain, in Carol for being a New Yorker and not providing her team with a good location, and in Tiffany for not calling his friend Hugh.

Tiffany, you're fired!

The Donald remarked that she's the nicest person but that often in business, the nicest person usually goes home first. On the way back to the others, Omarosa suggested to Carol that they make a pact to leave the feelings in the boardroom and Carol agreed. I can't wait to find out how long that really lasts. Bwahaha! In Tiffany's going away interview in the shiny black car, she said that she was disappointed in being the first one fired but she was glad to be going home and enjoyed her time on the show.

In the previews for next week, it seems Gene somehow insults Ivanka and gets her ticked off. Donald even told him in the boardroom that, "Nobody insults my daughter." Rut roh Gene!

Did you watch this premiere episode and if so, what did you think about it? Is it just me or does Omarosa seem like an even bigger bitch this time around? I also happen to adore Gene Simmons' arrogance but then I'm a huge fan of his Family Jewels show. What do you think about this batch of celebrities after seeing them in action? Will you watch again next week?


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HamsterDame's blogs: Silly Reality and Silly Hamsters.