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7 Filthy EDM Songs Marco Rubio Can Enjoy In Private

The Republican senator thinks EDM is a family-friendly genre. He is wrong.

At last night’s (February 17) Republican presidential town hall, CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Marco Rubio strayed momentarily from politics onto the topic of dance music.

The Republican presidential candidate confirmed that he’s an EDM fan, although you won’t find him at any raves: "I think I’m a little too old to be going to a rave, to be honest with you,” he said. "I actually grew up listening to ‘90s hip hop music, especially the West Coast stuff."

But now that he’s a family man, Rubio likes his beats fast and his lyrics clean — or nonexistent. "The words are clean,” he said of EDM. "Sometimes they have no words at all. It’s electronic music, so that’s perfect. I don’t have to worry about the lyrics.” He’ll even play his favorite DJs for his kids.

Rubio must be listening to different DJs than us, though, because we can think of plenty of songs whose lyrics he’d have to worry about in the presence of his family. Here are seven of them.

  1. Major Lazer & MOTi - “Boom"

    This EDM track has a lot of lyrics. The great majority of them are about butts.

  2. Skrillex - “Dirty Vibe"

    CL’s guest vocals take Sonny Moore’s tune way out of any Republican’s comfort zone, i.e.: “I’m your girl’s lesbian crush.”

  3. Benny Benassi - “Satisfaction"

    OK, so this 2002 hit doesn’t technically contain any dirty language, but you’d have to be pretty willfully obtuse not to know what Benny means by “push me,” “touch me,” and “satisfaction."

  4. DJ Caffeine - “Fuck on Cocaine"

    We can think of two big, totally different reasons why Marco Rubio should never play this song within earshot of his children.

  5. Black Tiger Sex Machine & Dabin - “Jack Dat Body"

    You can’t even say this band’s name without corrupting any and all children within a 100-foot radius.

  6. Flosstradamus - “Pillz”

    A million brain cells is way too many to kill at once, and illegal drug use is a blight on our nation’s once strong family values.

  7. Tiësto - “Wasted"

    “Wasted” is a song about getting drunk and having sex, something no Republican father should ever have to explain to his four young children.