This is, I want to preface, utter and complete hogwash based on nothing but idle speculation on my part, connecting the dots from rumors, and trying to read between the lines. But with rumors swirling (some of them very mean, abject lies propagated by, er, us) that Peter Capaldi - Malcolm Tucker from 'The Thick Of It' - is the new Doctor on Doctor Who, I think I've figured out a better idea:

Peter Capaldi is the new Master.

Here's why I think this is what's going to come to pass, and why we'll know one way or the other at 2pm ET on Sunday:

1) He's Too Well Known For The Doctor: Though Capaldi might not be a household name in the States, he's a pretty prominent actor in the UK, and prominent actors are expensive. Getting him to agree to star on Doctor Who on a regular basis would involve shelling out a lot of cash, money they'd rather spend on guest stars, effects, and jammy dodgers.

2) He's Too Old For The Doctor: nothing wrong with older actors, but to be perfectly blunt, part of the breakthrough appeal of Who over the past five years has been David Tennant and Matt Smith's relative youth, energy, and overall hotness. The 55-year-old Capaldi is only getting older, and won't hit that four-segment audience entertainment companies like so much. And let's be very clear: Doctor Who is no longer just a cult British show, it's a worldwide phenomenon.

3) The Master May Be Coming Back: Pure rumor and speculation, but there's been a lot of scuttle-butt about the Doctor's arch-enemy The Master coming back to the show. Previously, he was played during the Tennant run by John Simm, another well known UK actor. The Master died - forever - a few years ago... But it's "Who." Nothing is forever when time travel is concerned. Plus, with the 50th Anniversary of The Doctor this year, you need the Time-Lord's biggest, baddest villain to show up. We've had Cybermen and Daleks, it would be a shame for The Master to not pop his head in at some point.

So let's play connect the dots a bit. Rumors are swirling about Capaldi on "Who," and of course people jump to the conclusion that he's the next Doctor. But what if, instead, he's the new Master? Putting everything together, you COULD get Capaldi to play the nemesis on a few episodes financially, without breaking the bank. And he's not necessarily known for playing a chipper nice guy, so much as someone who will tear through your emotions and logic like butter. Plus, the age wouldn't matter too much for The Master, like it would for the Doctor.

It's all a bit wibbly wobbly, but wouldn't you rather see Capaldi as The Master, than The Doctor? And wouldn't that explain why his name has been thrown in the mix? Chances are, whoever the new Doctor is, it's going to leak before the special airs on Sunday; so smart money would say that the BBC has a few extra surprises up their sleeves. Announcing not just the new Doctor - huge news in and of itself - but also the new Master would make fans sonic their screwdrivers.

We'll know more soon, and stay tuned to MTV Geek for all the lies and idle speculation you can handle. Also, news.