We’ve already brought you 10 board games that don’t exist, but what if you’re not a pasty-faced nerd who sits inside all day? Well, then you’ve probably never heard of these ten ridiculously geeky sports. But don’t worry, we’ll coach you on how to get out of your chair and play them - right now! But first read this list. Then get out of your chair:

10. Timmy Ball (From The Fairly Oddparents)

The hardest thing about playing this game from The Fairly Oddparents’ resident wish-maker? You have to be Timmy to win. The game involves taking a purple ball, and hitting your friends with it. Every time you hit one of your friends? You get a point. But, again, the only person that gets points is Timmy, so good luck with that.

9. Anbo-Jitsu (From Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Called the “evolution of martial arts” by Commander Riker, Anbo-Jitsu involves wearing protective armor, holding a staff, and wearing a helmet that effectively renders you blind. And then you fight. Come to think of it, I think they played this on the current season of Top Chef. No? No Venn diagram for that reference? Okay then.

8. Five Bar Gate (From Cerebus)

Basically a hybrid between tennis and hockey, one player is a goalie, the other player - on the other side of the net - is the shooter. They have five chances to make a goal, and then its the other players turn. First player to fifteen points, wins! In the comics, Cerebus actually spent over thirty years playing Five Bar Gate professional, so if an aardvark can do it, so can you.

7. Fizzball (From Sam & Max)

Here’s an easy one you can play right now! Sam and Max, dog and bunny freelance police at large, play Fizzball setting up a bunch of beer cans, and then smashing them with bats. That’s it! Must be over 21, or a bunny or dog, to play.

6. Brockian Ultra-Cricket (From Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy)

We don’t know all the rules to Brockian Ultra-Cricket, since it’s played by beings from higher galaxies with a much larger understanding and capacity for rules than we have. But we do know the most important part of the cricket-esque game is kicking the crap out of other players with sporting equipment, then apologizing to them from a safe distance.

5. B’tduz (From Discworld)

Another super simple game to play, though it’s important that both players be dwarves. Not because of any height requirement, but because the game is played by throwing rocks at each other’s heads, and we think any humans reading this might have a hard time surviving many rounds of B’tduz.

4. Sky-Surfing (From Judge Dredd)

This one, on the other hand, is nigh on impossible, as it depends on having anti-gravity surfboards to play. Just like surfing, except, as the name implies, it’s done in the air... And usually through a complex city-scape or other type of obstacle course.

3. Pyramid (From Battlestar Galactica)

Players in the Twelve Colonies’ most popular sport done protective headgear, an pads, and then proceed to rough each other up a whole lot in pursuit of scoring the hand-sized pyramid ball in the goal. The shape of the field is a pyramid - hence the name - and each team member tries to snag the ball from the other players. This is closer to rugby in roughness than, say, American Football, though its popular enough to also be played in high schools and occasionally, decks of Battlestars.

2. Calvinball (From Calvin and Hobbes)

The rules of Calvinball are simple: there are no rules. Okay, that’s not true, exactly, but the main rule of Calvinball is that you make up the rules as you go along, and no game of Calvinball can be played the same way twice. There’s also a mandatory “mask-wearing” rule, and a theme song; but for the most part, Calvinball is whatever you want it to be.

1. Blernsball (From Futurama)

Blernsball is the 30th century version of baseball, so there’s a good deal of that game in the DNA, from the Blernsball diamond, to the players uniforms. But baseball never had a ball on a tether, or the chance to get a multiball, complete with giant spider attack. Other than most Mets games, of course.