‘Dark Knight Rises': What’s With All The Tumblers?

by Brian Phares

There has been much rumor and speculation surrounding “The Dark Knight Rises,” ranging from the motives of Joseph Gordon-Levitt to the merit of Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman costume, and even the involvement of Ra’s al Ghul. Yet nobody seems to be asking the most important question of all: what is up with all these tumblers?

It seems tumblers have taken over Gotham City. In almost every photo surfacing online a tumbler is there, ready to photobomb. Don’t believe me? Let me break it down for you: Joseph Gordon-Levitt holding a gas can looking shady? Behind him, a tumbler. Bane assaulting the field of a Gotham Rogues football game, who does he have in tow? A group of tumblers three. Marion Cotillard on set standing on top of a rather large vehicle? You guessed it, it’s a tumbler. And lastly, Catwoman is riding a motorcycle, the same model that lurks in the jaws of Batman’s own tumbler.

What’s striking is the gall these tumblers seem to have. Never before have we seen them out in broad day light, and considering that they’re sporting their standard issue paint job, it looks like martial law has been instated upon Gotham, though whose martial law is a topic of debate. So now we enter: Brian’s Conspiracy Corner.

Somebody has definitely infiltrated Wayne Enterprises, that much is certain. How else would Bane get a hold of all of this vehicular fire power? I’m willing to bet Selina Kyle is just that person, judging by her hi-tech getup and (presumably) stolen Batpod. I’d bet money that it’s Bane’s law in Gotham City now, and he’s probably the one who put good ol’ Commissioner Gordon in the hospital just to get Batman’s goat.

Watch our analysis of “The Dark Knight Rises” teaser trailer!

So if Selina is the wild card, and Bane’s the muscle, then who is the brains? Why none other than Talia Al Ghul — oh, I’m sorry, Miranda Tate. It’s the perfect trifecta of terror and the formula for every awesome team ever known in cinema.

What’s the link between them you ask? Perhaps it’s the League of Shadows, but I’m wondering if it isn’t Ra’s Al Ghul himself. Batman surely wasn’t the only pupil of this wizened grand master of combat, perhaps Bane and Catwoman took a few lessons in highland-ice kung fu as well. No doubt they were all quite displeased by Ra’s Al Ghul’s death, and hopefully Talia’s father told her of Batman’s true identity before he tried to reduce Gotham City to chaos in “Batman Begins.” My only hope (and perhaps Batman’s as well) is that Selina’s wild card sensibilities win out, and she switches over to the Bat side.

So in short, “Dark Knight Rises” is shaping up to be an event of epic vehicular proportions. If anything, the ingredients are ripe for a car chase that will put “The Dark Knight” to shame, and perhaps even reach Bond levels of awesome. My only fear is that with all of these possible baddies, “The Dark Knight Rises” may go the way of “Spider-Man 3.”

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